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THE PARABLES 
OF SAFED THE SAGE 



BY 
WILLIAM E. L 




CHICAGO 

ADVANCE PUBLISHING COMPANY 

1917 



T"5 "llj 



COPYRIGHT 1917 
ADVANCE PUBLISHING COMPANY 



/ 

MAR 17/9/7 

©CLA457795 



TO KETURAH 



PREFACE 



All true teaching is by parables. The relativity of knowl- 
edge compels us to learn, if we learn at all, by comparison and 
contrast. We have no words for things of the intellect and 
soul that are not first words of physical things or states. 
Hence we must always be taught what the kingdom of heaven 
is like unto. 

The brief chapters which make up this book have appeared 
in successive issues of THE ADVANCE during recent months. 
They are a literary recreation, and something more; for they 
have a serious purpose. They were begun with little thought 
that they would be continued more than a few weeks, but as 
readers of THE ADVANCE appeared to like them, and other 
papers copied them, they have continued to appear. The first 
one was written while the writer, accompanied by his wife, was 
making a tour of the Mississippi River in the spring of 1915. 
The manner in which the mate of the boat addressed the col- 
ored deckhands afforded some food for thought. The parable 
does not reproduce the mate's language precisely, but the 
meaning and intent are preserved. 

The successive parables of the Hollyhocks have met with 
more of apparent favor than any of the others, and many in- 
quiries have been made whether the experience out of which 
they grew was real or imaginary. It was a real experience, 
and occurred essentially as described. The first parable about 
the Hollyhock was written with no thought that there would 



be another, but as other incidents occurred in the days and 
months that followed, these afforded other themes. Inci- 
dentally they brought the author requests for Hollyhock seed, 
which, fortunately he was able to supply in the first season, 
for the Hollyhocks that were already rooted bore somewhat 
abundantly, spite of their various adventures. The author 
acknowledges also the kindness of those who have supplied 
him with Hollyhock seed of various kinds. He planted it all 
in the summer of 1916, and is hoping that the plants will 
blossom next summer. 

The Hollyhock incidents grew out of the fact that the 
church of which the author is pastor sold the old parsonage, 
which for fifteen happy years had been his home, and that in 
the interval before the occupation of the new parsonage, he 
has been living in a new house, on a street but recently built 
up. Hollyhocks are now well rooted in the garden of this 
temporary habitation, as well as at the author's summer home, 
and there will be some at the new parsonage, which is to be 
occupied next fall. As soon as the young plants bear seed, the 
author will be glad to share it with any friends who care for 
it, and he will always appreciate any that is sent to him. He 
will have little to spare before the summer of 1917. 

Thanks are, hereby expressed to the many correspondents 
who have written in appreciation of these Parables. To this 
appreciation, and a somewhat insistent request, is due their 
publication in book form. 

First Church Study, 

Oak Park, February, 1917. 



CONTENTS 



Page 

The Mississippi Mate , 9 

The Hollyhock 12 

The Three Hollyhocks 16 

Concerning Vacations ■ 20 

The Seven Targets 23 

The Four Hollyhocks 26 

The Hot Box 29 

The Transplanted Hollyhocks 32 

The Steamboat 35 

The Hollyhock in the Stone Pile 38 

The Baldheaded Barber 42 

The Woodpecker 45 

The Dummy Organ Pipe 47 

What the Woodpecker Did Next 51 

The Twelve Hollyhocks 53 

The White Elephant 56 

The Flower Catalogue 59 

The Uses of the White Elephant 61 

The Plant I Did Not Buy 63 

How I Obtained the Philosopher's Stone 66 

The Use of the Philosopher's Stone 69 

The Hollyhock and the Dandelion 73 

The Chickens and the Mush 76 

The Pins 78 

The Time Table 80 

The Unexpected Hollyhocks 82 

The WroowER Who Would Marry Again 84 

Of Truth in Unexpected Places 86 

Nature-Faking Hollyhocks 88 



The Weeds in My Garden 91 

Life in Spidertown 94 

The Hollyhock Seeds 97 

The Other Good Turn 99 

The Bath Tub at the Inn 102 

The Large Pearl Eing 104 

The Unopened Window 106 

The Flower in the Obstruction 108 

The Ice that Melted Ill 

Two Shadows 113 

Concerning Lemons 115 

When it is Hot in California 118 

The Ship that Sunk 120 

The Four Sheep 123 

How Things are Made into Something Else 126 

The Boston Statuary 129 

The Muskmelon Einds 132 

The Parachute 135 

The Faith of the Bank of Mountmellick 138 

The Trolley Car and its Master 141 

The Eubber Dam , 145 

The Eide in the Country 148 

The Horse and the Tricycle 150 

The Mortal Sins 152 

The Words and Music 155 

The Brakeman and the Farmer 157 

The Potatoes 160 

The Park by the Eailway 162 

The Channel Luncheon 164 

The Triange in Fiction 168 

The Hare Pie 171 

The Appendix and the Wart 174 

The Trees and the Tablets 177 

The Married Flirts 180 

The Man Who Suspected His Neighbor 183 

The Third Stick 186 

The Unreckoned Gift 189 

The Christmas Stocking 191 



THE PARABLES 
OF SAFED THE SAGE 



THE MISSISSIPPI MATE 



NOW it came to pass as I journeyed that I came to a 
Great River, called in the tongue of the Red Man 
the Mississippi, which, being interpreted, is The Great 
Father of Waters ; and I found a Ship, and I paid the 
Fare thereon, and I went into the Ship and sailed far 
down the River. And it came to pass that ofttimes the 
Whistle blew, and the Ship came to a Landing, and it 
Stopped. And certain of the sons of Ham that were on 
the Ship carried out of the Vessel bags of Potatoes, and 
barrels of Flour, and sacks of Corn, and many other ar- 
ticles of Food and Commerce, and carried them up the 
Bank and laid them there. And at each of the places 
where the Ship tarried, the Mate stood at the top of the 
bank, and loudly called to the Ethiopians who carried up 
the Freight. And thus he spake unto them, saying : 

9 



10 THE PARABLES OF SAFED THE SAGE 

Why loiter ye? Hurry! Hurry! Suppose ye that 
this boat meaneth to tarry here until the middle of next 
week 1 Make haste, ye Ethiopian sluggards ! Verily, ye 
earn not the salt that goeth into your hoe-cake ! Hurry ! 
Hurry ! Get ye out with the freight ! 

And with many like Words did he Exhort them, and 
some Words that were Unlike. 

Then my heart waxed Hot within me, and I said to my 
soul: 

Behold, the men bear Burdens, and the bank is Steep. 
Why should he, who Carrieth no Load, stand at the top 
of the bank and Blaspheme against the men who already 
are Burdened ? Ought he not either to carry on his own 
head a sack of Potatoes, or on his own back a Barrel of 
Flour, or on his own shoulder a Squalling Swine, or be 
silent while other men Struggle under their Loads? 

But I observed that now and then for a moment the 
Mate was recalled to the Ship, and then the Work 
Slacked. And the Ethiopians quickly saw when he was 
gone, and they Lagged, and Laughed, and Loitered. But 
when the Mate returned they Hastened. 

Yea, he Hastened Them. 

Then I said to my soul, Behold, I am even as that Mate. 
For the Lord hath appointed me to stand on the bank of 
the River of Time, and exhort His People to be Diligent, 
for the stream Floweth Swiftly, and the Vessel must 
move. And many of my people bear Burdens, and I pity 
them under their loads. Yet do I stand on the bank and 
call out to them : 



THE MISSISSIPPI MATE 11 

Hasten, ye Sinners, for the time is short. Think not 
to say within yourselves that ye have Done Well, for 
when ye have done your best, ye are Unprofitable Ser- 
vants. Hasten, and work harder! 

And for this they pay me my Salary. Yea, and by so 
doing I Earn It. 

Yet while I thus Admonish them, my heart goeth out 
to them, for in truth they bear Heavy Burdens, and the 
bank is Steep. 

But the Stream floweth on, and the Boat must sail. 
Wherefore when I think of these things, my heart findeth 
Companionship with the Mate, for but for the grace of 
God I should be as he. 

Yea, my heart goeth out also to the sons of Ham, for 
their Burdensi are heavy and the bank is steep. Yet I 
hear them Singing, and they tell me that they love the 
Mate, and would fight for him. And this I hope is true. 



THE HOLLYHOCK 



NOW it came to pass that after many years of living 
in one House, I removed and dwelt in another, and 
it was situated on a Street where few houses were builded, 
and on either side of it were Vacant Lots and Weeds. 
And they were not lovely to look upon. And on an eve- 
ning as I returned to my Home, I beheld on one of the 
Vacant Lots hard by mine own House an Hollyhock ; and 
it grew hardly a cubit from the Sidewalk. And it had 
grown Suddenly, and it stood well above the weeds. And 
when I saw it my heart rejoiced. 

Then I rose early on the next morning, and I clothed 
myself scantily, and I went to the Basement, and I found 
a Spade and an Hoe, and I Digged about the Hollyhock, 
and I cut out the weeds from around it, and Loosened 
the earth at the Root thereof, and I said to myself, Lo, 
this Hollyhock shall be as my very own. And it shall 
grow tall, and bear many Blossoms, and my Heart shall 
find delight in it. 

Now when I returned to my Home that night, behold, 
there were Tracks of Horses on the Concrete Walk, and 
on one side of the walk had been Mown a strip as wide 

12 



THE HOLLYHOCK 13 

as a man might Step, and I knew that the Town had sent 
out the Municipal Mowing Machine to cut the Grass and 
Weeds where they grew over the Walks on Vacant Lots. 
Yea, I remembered that this was a Part of the Program 
of our Progressive Town Board to make our Town the 
City Beautiful. 

And I hastened to my Hollyhock, and it was the even- 
ing of the very day whereon I had spent labor upon it. 
And behold, my Hollyhock was cut off Two Inches above 
the ground. And it lay Wilted and Dead. 

And I made lamentation over it, and I remembered the 
day when the Lord spake unto His Prophet Jonah, saying 
Doest thou well to be angry for the Gourd whereon thou 
hast spent no Labor ? The prophet answered, I do well to 
be angry, even unto death. And I knew how Jonah felt, 
save that he had spent no labor on the Gourd, but I had 
labored upon the Hollyhock that very morning, and I 
still had a blister upon one hand. 

Then said I to my heart, Behold, ours is a Good Town, 
and it hath a Good Mayor, who attendeth my Church, and 
a Good Town Board, and they have sought to do a Good 
Thing for the Town. Nevertheless, they send out a brain- 
less Machine that knoweth not a Hollyhock from a Bur- 
dock, and therewith they Beautify the Town by Cutting 
down my Lovely Flower. 

And I knelt beside the Hollyhock, and I cried, O Lord, 
canst Thou not govern the world any better than this 
Town is Governed? Dost Thou rule through Blind and 
Indiscriminate Laws ? Hast Thou not sent out Thy Mow- 
ing Machine which knoweth no more than the one that 



14 THE PARABLES OF SAFED THE SAGE 

hath slain my Hollyhock ? Did not a wise man in the old- 
en time grow sad with the Thought that there is one 
event to the righteous and the wicked ? Lord, is there 
no better way of Governing the world ? For behold, how 
there lie in the Swath behind thine Indiscriminate Mower 
the Burdock and the Dandelion and the Sweet Clover and 
the Yellow Dock and the Golden Rod and the Rag Weed 
and the Hollyhock! Yea, Lord, and the Hollyhock was 
mine, and I loved it ! Wherefore, Lord, dost Thou and 
the Town Board Govern with a Mowing Machine ? It it 
thus Thou dost seek to make a World Beautiful ? Look at 
the Cruel Swath Thou cuttest through Human Life ! Oh 
Lord, if Jonah might be angry when he saw the work of 
the Worm, what shall I say to my Sad Heart at the sight 
of this Remorseless Mower which men call the Course of 
Things but I have been taught to call the Providence of 
God? 

Yet I remembered that after all, it were better for the 
Town Board to cut a Clean Swath beside the Concrete 
Walk, rather than that the Rank Weeds should overgrow 
it from Both Sides, being Covered with Dust and Hay 
Fever when the weather is Dry and Dripping with Water 
after a Rain. And I said, I will Honor the Mayor and 
the Town Board, for they have done a good thing. And 
I said of the Lord, Though He slay me, as the Town 
Board hath slain my Hollyhock, yet will I trust Him. 

But I stooped and picked up the Wilted Hollyhock, 
and I took off my Hat and stood with Bared Head, and 
looked up to Heaven, and I said : 



THE HOLLYHOCK 15 

God, Thou hast ordered that the just shall live by- 
faith, and Thou hast Ordained that Faith shall not be 
purchased too cheaply; Thou requirest Hard Things of 
them that love Thee. O God, I trust Thee ; nevertheless, 
if it may be so, Vouchsafe, that Thy great Mowing Ma- 
chine may have a Little More Consideration for the 
Hollyhocks. 

And if in this Prayer I sinned, may my God count it to 
me for a sin of folly, and not of wilful transgression. For 
my Faith in God abideth, though ofttimes I have wept 
over many wilted Hollyhocks. And I am sad at the sight 
of the Mowing Machine. And I have lost some very 
Tender Flowers. But I have faith that the God who 
taught me to Consider the Lilies will Consider my Holly- 
hock, yea, and the Little Tender Flowers. 



THE THREE HOLLYHOCKS 



NOW it came to pass on the day after the Municipal 
Mowing Machine had cut down the Hollyhock, that 
I went forth among men, and I met a man who hath much 
Worldly Wisdom, and my heart was heavy, and I com- 
muned with him. And I told him how I had found the 
Hollyhock, and had digged about it very early in the 
Morning, so that I did eat my Breakfast that day in the 
Sweat of my face, and how my Heart went out to the 
Hollyhock, and how I thought I should see Flowers 
blooming thereon, and how I returned at Night, and the 
Municipal Mowing Machine, which the Town had Pro- 
cured, at the Request of the Civic League whereof he 
and I were both members, had cut down my Hollyhock, 
and left it to wither among the Thistles, and the Bur- 
docks, and the Tall Grass. 

And he heard me, and thus he Spake : 

Even so is Life. There is no Law save Fate, and it 
Happeneth alike to the Evil and the Good. Thou hast 
spent Labor in Vain seeking in Thine own life to be a 
Hollyhock, for it is much More Fun to be a Burdock. 
The Blossom of the Burdock is quite as lovely as that of 

16 



THE THREE HOLLYHOCKS 17 

the Hollyhock, if thou only Thinkest so, and behold how 
much Farther thou Scatterest Thine Influence if thou art 
a Burdock than if thou art an Hollyhock. Not only dost 
thou Stick to people who pass, but People go out of their 
way, however much they Pretend the Contrary, to pick 
up Burrs and carry them away. And in the End, one 
Fate happeneth to all. The great, unseeing Municipal 
Mowing Machine called Fate cometh down the Concrete 
Walk of Time, scarring its Smooth Surface with the 
Calks on the Shoes of the Horses that drag the Chariot 
of the Inevitable, and it Cutteth down both the Good and 
the Evil. And who shall know, in an hundred years, 
whether thou wert an Hollyhock, bearing stunted blos- 
soms among the weeds that evermore outgrew thee, or 
whether thou Tookest Life as thou didst Find It, and 
played Right Lustily the part of a Merry Burdock, ere 
the Machine Came Down the Pike? 

Now, when he said these things to me, behold, mine 
Heart grew more heavy, and I turned away from men, 
and walked back toward mine own House, that hardly yet 
did seem an Home. 

And, as I approached my Dwelling, I saw Fresh Tracks 
of Horses upon the Concrete Walk, and I looked, and 
behold, the Municipal Mowing Machine had come down 
the Other Side of the Same Walk. 

And I said, Behold, I care not. They have cut down 
my Hollyhock ; I will Harden mine Heart, and Care not 
What They Do. 

But as I neared my dwelling, I beheld a Strange Thing. 
There were Three Hollyhocks, standing on the Other 



18 THE PARABLES OF SAFED THE SAGE 

Side of the Walk. And the Weeds had Hidden them, so 
that I had Discovered them not. But the Man who Drove 
the Municipal Mowing Machine had Seen them, and had 
Turned his Sickle Aside, and Had Backed his Horses, and 
Bidden them Gee and Haw, and Come-around-here-Dick, 
and Giddap-Sally, and had cut the Weeds, even the Bur- 
docks, and the Thistles, and the Yellow Dock, and the 
Dandelions, and had left the Three Hollyhocks standing, 
which I had never seen, nor on them had Spent Labor; 
yet were they left for me. 

Now when I Saw This, I said to mine Heart, Behold, I 
think I know the Man who Driveth the Municipal Mow- 
ing Machine, and I forget whether he is a Swede, or an 
Italian, or a Parthian, or a Scythian, or a Dweller in 
Mesopotamia, but I shall go to the Town Hall, and there 
Deposit a Dime, and say, Driver of the Municipal 
Mowing Machine, Go Buy thyself a Good, Cold Ice-Cream 
Soda, and if thou Prefer, as I fear thou dost, a Good 
Cigar, thou mayest buy it instead, so the smoke of thy 
Torment come not nigh me. For thou didst see too late 
on yesterday that thou hadst cut my Hollyhock, and on 
this day didst behold from thine exalted throne on the 
Mowing Machine, and look down and see in the Weeds 
the three Hollyhocks which I had not seen, and thine eye 
did pity them, and thou didst Gee and Haw, and Back- 
up-there, and Now-Giddap, and save for me Three Holly- 
hocks. Behold, I will dig about them, and they shall 
blossom for me, and be to me in place of the Hollyhock 
that I have lost. 



THE THREE HOLLYHOCKS 19 

And I said to mine Heart, Can this Unlettered Swede, 
or Italian, or Dweller in Mesopotamia, Gee and Haw and 
spare for me Three Hollyhocks, and cannot the Mighty 
God, who looketh down from an Higher Throne than the 
seat of a Municipal Mowing Machine, Gee and Haw if 
that be Necessary, and Spare the Soul of him that Trust- 
eth in the Most High? Yea, and even if one Machine 
cut down all men alike, would it not be better for a Little 
Time to be an Hollyhock than a Burdock ? 

And I went and digged about the root of the Three 
Hollyhocks that God had given me, though I had not 
labored on them, and the Municipal Mower had saved 
for me, though I had not besought him. 

Yea, I went back, and found again the Root of the 
Hollyhock that had been Cut Off, and I prayed my God 
that it might Spring again from the Earth, and Blossom 
yet. And I comforted mine Heart with the Faith that 
this might be so. 



CONCERNING VACATIONS 



NOW I dwelt in a city and the labor of the weeks was 
heavy, so it came to pass as Summer Approached, 
that every year I went on a Vacation. And ofttimes 1 
rode upon a Stage in the hills of Vermont, the Driver 
whereof was a man of experience. And he spake to me 
ofttimes, and every year this was the burden of his com- 
plaint : 

Behold, thou comest here again on thy vacation, being 
a man who toilest not, nor spinnest, nor gatherest into 
barns, and the Greater Part of those who ride on my 
Stage in the Good Old Summer Time come Likewise ; but 
I drive this Condemned Old Stage Year in and Year out, 
Wet or Dry, Hot or Cold, and for Forty Years I have had 
no Vacation. 

Now when I had heard this many times, I wrote to the 
Manager of the Stage Route, saying: 

Behold this Driver of thy Company hath served long, 
and hath never had a Vacation; give him Two Weeks, 
that he may have a Vacation like unto the Rest of Man- 
kind. 

20 



CONCERNING VACATION 21 

And they did as I made request of them; and they 
sent Another Driver to Drive the Stage for Two Weeks, 
that he might have a Vacation. 

And the Next Summer as I came that way, I asked him 
concerning his Vacation, and where and how he had 
Spent it. 

And he relieved himself of a burden he had been carry- 
ing, namely, a mouthful of Tobacco Juice, and thus 1 , he 
made answer: 

The first Day, being Monday, I rode with the New 
Driver to show him the Road ; and because he was slow to 
Learn I rode with him also on Tuesday. And on Wednes- 
day I feared lest the Bay Mare should have cast a Shoe, 
and I rode with him again, and stopped at the Blacksmith 
Shop in the place midway, for there dwelleth the only 
Smith who knoweth how to Shoe Horses as they ought 
to be shod. And on Thursday Widow Skiles was going to 
Town, and I knew her Trunk must go, and I feared lest 
that Substitute Driver should have forgotten it. And 
on Friday it looked as if it would Rain, and was no kind 
of Day for a man to be starting on his Vacation, so I 
rode on the stage that Day also. And on Saturday it did 
Rain, and was no kind of Day for a man to be sitting 
around inside the House with Nothing to Do, so I rode 
again that day. And on Monday there were a lot of City 
Folks who had been out in the Hills for the Week-End, 
going back to the City, and some of them were a Leetle 
Mite p'tic'lar, and I thought I might as well Go Long, 
and see them git on the Train. And Tuesday I realized 
that the Time was more'n Half Gone, and a Feller 



22 THE PARABLES OF SAPED THE SAGE 

couldn't do Nothing in One Week Nohow, so I just con- 
tinnered to Eide on the Stage with the Substitute Driver, 
and Show him How. And by the End of the Second Week 
he was a Pretty Good Driver, and if I could have had a 
Vacation then, I could have trusted him to run the Stage. 

Thus spake to me the Driver, who had always com- 
plained that he had never had a Vacation. 

And I meditated much concerning what he had said to 
me. 

And I said, my God, let me not be one of those who 
constantly complain of the blessings they do not have, 
and who Would not Know What to Do with them if they 
had them. 



THE SEVEN TARGETS 



NOW in the City where I dwelt were divers Shooting 
Galleries, and some of them charge Five Cents for 
Three Shots, and there were others that Gave Five Shots 
for Five Cents. And I Noticed when I passed their gates, 
and if the Sign Read Three Shots for Five Cents, I 
entered Not; but if it Read Five Shots for Five Cents, 
then I entered. 

And x one of the Galleries where I went had Seven Tar- 
gets, all in One Row. And the Targets had each of them 
a Bullseye. And the Targets were each of the Same Size, 
about a Cubit in breadth ; but the Bullseyes were Divers. 
For the one on the Right hand had a Bullseye as small as 
the Fingernail of a man's Hand, and the one on the left 
had a Bullseye as large as a Silver Dollar, and those that 
were between Grew as the Targets were placed from the 
Right side to the left. And there were on each Target 
Rings round the Bullseye, from the Bullseye to the Outer 
Edge of the Target. And he who Hit the Bullseye on 
any Target whatsoever caused a Bell to Ring. 

Now, in my Youth I could Shoot Some, and in my Rip- 
er Years I can Shoot a Little. So it was my custom to 

23 



24 THE PARABLES OF SAFED THE SAGE 

Choose a Target near the Middle, and Sometimes I made 
the Bell to King, perhaps twice or thrice out of Five. 

But it came to pass on a day that I entered a Gallery, 
and laid down a silver Coin which was the Fourth Part 
of a Dollar, and the Man gave me Four Nickles and a 
Gun. And I took the Gun, and I Said, I have not prac- 
ticed of late ; I will take the Large Bullseye. So I shot, 
and I Hit It. And I shot again, and I Hit it Again. And 
thus I did Five Times. 

And it Pleased me that I had Hit the Bullseye and 
Rung the Bell Five times. 

And I handed the Man another Nickel, and I Hit the 
Bullseye Five Times More. And I was yet more pleased. 

And I gave him Another. Nickel, and Yet another Five 
Times I Did the Same. 

And I said within my heart, Behold, am not I a good 
Shot? 

And I gave him Another Nickel. 

And the Man took the Nickel, and gave me Another 
Gun, for I had shot out all that the First Gun contained; 
moreover, it needed Cleaning, by reason of the Shooting 
I had done. Now the man who kept the Gallery Had 
been regarding me, and I thought he had been Admiring 
my Skill, but he had Not. For when he handed me the 
Second Gun, and taken my Fourth Nickel he spake to me 
thus: 

Now if all you wmt is to Hear Yourself Ring the Big 
Bell, you can Probably Continue to Bo That for a Con- 
siderable Time to Come; but if you really want to Im- 
prove Your Shooting, you will never shoot at anything 



THE SEVEN TARGETS 25 

but the Smallest Bullseye. You will put your shots into 
quite as Small a Circle, and you will have the Advantage 
of Knowing Just How Much you lack of Being a Really 
Good Shot. 

And the word went to my heart. 

So I walked to the other end, and I shot five times at 
the Small Bullseye, and I hit it Not Once. But all my 
Shots were close in, and every one of them would have 
Bung the Big Bell. So I gave him my Last Nickel, and 
I Shot Five times more and out of the Five Shots I Rang 
the Small Bell Twice. 

And though it sounded not so loud as the Big Bell, yet 
I knew in my heart it was Better Shooting, and that it 
had Compelled me to do My Best. 

Then I said in my heart, my God, I have lived an 
Upright Life among men, and often have they Told me 
So ; but I fear lest I have been Shooting at the Big Bell. 
Mine have not been the Cruel Temptations of Some of 
my Fellow Men, yet I have Had Pride that I was better 
than Some of them. O my God, I will seek henceforth to 
Shoot at the Smallest Target. Then shall I know how 
much I lack of being really a Good Shot. 

And I told the Parable to some of my Fellowmen, and 
I said, Behold how I went in to the House of Shooting, 
and I heard a sermon that divided between the joints and 
marrow of my soul. And they, too, were humbled when 
they heard it. 



THE FOUR HOLLYHOCKS 



NOW at the end of the Summer, as the Autumn drew 
near, I returned to mine Home after a Season in 
which I had Wandered afar, and the Weeds had grown 
thickly about the house, so that I hastened and called a 
Man to cut the Same before they could go to Seed ; for I 
purposed in mine heart that in another year we should 
have Grass, and maybe Flowers. 

And I sought my Hollyhocks, that I might see how it 
had fared with them. And behold, the Three Hollyhocks 
that grew in one Cluster by the Concrete walk had Grown 
and Blossomed, and been Broken off ; for there had been 
passersby who Plucked the same when they were fair to 
look upon. But my One Hollyhock, over which I had 
mourned because it had been cut off, had grown up from 
the root, and blossoming low among the Weeds, it bore 
Lovely Blossoms. 

And I cried out in mine heart, my God, the First 
hath been Last and the Last First ; and that which in the 
beginning seemed to have been cut down untimely, hath 
Blossomed more Beautifully than all the rest. 

26 



THE FOUR HOLLYHOCKS 27 

And I knew it was a parable, that God had sent me a 
lesson that I should not consider the hopeless things of 
life to be hopeless, but that I should remember how it 
might fare better with them than with the rest. 

And the man came to cut the Weeds. 

And while he was yet coming, lo, I went to meet him. 
And he was from Italy, and had wrought in the Gardens 
and Vineyards there. 

And I said to him : 

Beholdest thou this one Hollyhock 1 

And he answered, Si, signor. For so is the speech of 
Italy when a man will say, Yes, sir. 

And I led him across the Walk and I said : 

Beholdest thou these three Hollyhocks? 

And again he answered me as before. 

And I said, All these have come up through great trib- 
ulation. Yet have they all kept their Life, yea, and all of 
them have borne Seed. See thou hurt them not with thy 
Scythe nor yet with thy Spade, but dig them up care- 
fully, and set them out in my Garden. And I will spare 
them as a man spareth that which he loveth, and I will 
keep the weeds away from them, and they shall blossom 
in my Garden. 

And again he answeerd, Si, signor. 

And I said to the Lord, O my God, even that Italian, 
who knoweth in part, and to whom I prophesy in part, 
understandeth somewhat of my plan, and I understand a 
very little of Thine. And I believe that as I have dealt 



28 THE PARABLES OF SAFED THE SAGE 

with the Hollyhocks, so thou wilt deal with frail men and 
women, and that they shall yet be taken from among the 
Weeds, and made to Blossom in the Garden of God. 

And the Spirit of the Lord whispered in my heart that 
it was even so. 



THE HOT BOX 



NOW I rode upon a Swift Train called the Limited, 
and it was Going Some. 

And suddenly it stopped at a place in the midst of the 
Tall Grass ; neither was there a Station in the place. And 
all the Passengers Smelt an Unholy Smell. And divers 
of them Got Out. 

And, behold, from the Axle of one of the Wheels came 
forth Flame and Smoke. 

And one of the Passengers said, 

It is an Overheated Journal. 

But one of the Train Men answered and said, 

She's got a Hot Box, and it's Dollars to Doughnuts 
she's got a Busted Brass. 

Then they carried Water from the tender of the Loco- 
motive, and poured on Seven Buckets full, so that the 
Water ran all about the Car Wheels, and the Water 
Hissed when it touched the Axle, and the Steam did 
Arise. 

And when it ceased to give forth Steam then jammed 
they in Cotton Waste, and poured in Dope ; and the Con- 
ductor shouted, All Aboard. 

29 



30 THE PARABLES OF SAPED THE SAGE 

And the Train moved on. 

But in ten miles it Stopped ; and we smelled the same 
Infernal Smell ; for so I may eall it at a venture, having 
never smelled the Smoke of Gehenna, but thinking it like 
unto this Smell. 

And seven times we Stopped and flooded it with Water, 
and Chucked in Waste, and poured in Dope. 

And finally we came to a side track, and the Conductor 
yelled, 

All passengers take the Eear Car. We're going to Cut 
This Out. 

And they Cut it Out. 

And as it stood on the Siding the Smoke of its Torment 
Still arose. 

And I considered what I had seen. 

For a Church is a Railway Train, and every Member 
is a Wheel. And although there be Flat Wheels, and 
Wobbly Wheels, and Lopsided Wheels, still do they go 
around, and go as- the Train Goeth. But if so be that 
there be a member who is Touchy, verily a Church with 
One Such Member is like unto a Train that hath an Hot 
Box. 

And if so be the Hot Box is in the Choir and gets Het 
Up because another Member of the Choir singeth more 
Solos ; or if so be the Hot Box is in the Sunday School, 
and beginneth to Smoke Up whenever the Superintendent 
Requesteth all Teachers to Prepare their Lessons; and 
Come on Time, and One Teacher declareth she thinketh it 
Horrid thus to be Bawled Out ; or whether the Hot Box 



THE HOT BOX 31 

be in the Board of Deacons, still is an Hot Box a very 
Undesirable Citizen. 

And I though of these things. 

And the Spirit of the Lord said unto me, Safed. 

And I answered, Here am I. 

And the Spirit said: Safed, thou hast considered the 
Evil Case of a Church that hath an Hot Box in the Choir, 
or in the Sunday School, or in the Board of Deacons. See 
that in thy Church there be no Hot Box in the Pulpit. 

An I considered all these things. 



THE TRANSPLANTED HOLLYHOCKS 



NOW, after the man of Italy had digged up my Holly- 
hocks, even the one Holylhock which the Mower had 
cut down and the Three Hollyhocks which the Mower had 
spared, I walked in my Garden, and the Hollyhocks 
drooped and were withered, and I poured Water on the 
root and came again another day and they had Revived. 
Yet they looked at me Reproachfully and said to me, Why 
has thou dealt so with us? For verily we did think of 
thee that thou wast our friend. And were we not grow- 
ing very well by the Concrete Walk until thou didst up- 
rot us? Verily, thou art very Cruel . 

And I could not speak to them so that they would un- 
derstand, yet I said to them in the words of my Lord, 
What I do, ye know not now, but ye shall know hereafter. 

And it grieved me that my Hollyhocks doubted my 
goodness, for in Love had I Chastened them and not in 
Anger. 

And I came yet another day, and behold, they were 
putting forth Feeble Blossoms, in haste if they might 
bear seed before the frost. And I admired their Enter- 
prise, but I knew that it was not well, and I took my knife 

32 



THE TRANSPLANTED HOLLYHOCKS 33 

and cut down the stalks, for I knew that what they need- 
ed now was to root deeply in the earth that they might 
bring forth blossoms hereafter. 

Howbeit the Hollyhocks understood not that I was kind 
to them, and they thought unkindly of me in their hearts, 
as I had thought of the Mower, but I had come that they 
might have Life and have it more Abundantly. 

Now, I know not what goeth on under the ground, but 
now I have faith for my Hollyhocks, that they are taking 
root downward and that they shall bear fruit upward, 
and that my labor shall not be in vain ; yea, and that their 
faith also shall not be in vain. For I think they still have 
faith in me, though they doubt; yea, they believe, as 
flowers may believe, and I will help their unbelief. 

And I entered my Study where I keep the Philoso- 
pher 's Stone, and I took down a book which telleth about 
Flowers, and I opened it and I laid the Philosopher's 
Stone upon the Book to keep it open, and therein I read 
that the Hollyhock grew in Palestine, even in the Land 
where Jesus lived, and that it was unknown to Europe till 
the time of the Crusades, and that the Crusaders who 
went to Fight and to save the Holy Land from the hand 
of the Turk and to recover the Holy Sepulcher, plucked 
seed and brought back with them and called the name of 
the plant the Holy Rod, or Hollyhock, even as it is called 
to this day. And I wondered how the flowers had come 
to me acros the ocean, through seed preserved and roots 
transplanted, far back to the days when brave Men Fight- 
ing for the Faith plucked Seed in the Land where Jesus 
Lived and transmitted the same to me. And I thought 



34 THE PARABLES OF SAFED THE SAGE 

of all the love that in many gardens had preserved the 
life of Hollyhocks since the day when Crusaders came 
back from the Holy Land bringing the Hollyhock seed. 

And I said to myself that wherever I shall live there 
will I have Hollyhocks blooming, for they shall be to me 
a symbol of human courage and fidelity, yea, and of a 
Divine Providence which now we trust and cannot wholly 
understand. 

Yea, and if God will, these very Hollyhocks, even the 
one Hollyhock that the Mower cut down, and the three 
Hollyhocks which the Mower spared, but which were 
broken by the wayside, will I preserve. And they shall 
be mine in the day when I make up my Jewels. 

And though my life be broken, and many of my hopes 
cut off, yet may God so deal with me. And wherein I 
misunderstand and doubt, may God not reckon it to me 
for Sin, but deal gently with me as I have dealt with His 
Hollyhocks and mine. 



THE STEAMBOAT 



NOW I came to one of the Great Lakes, on. which was 
a Steamboat, and I paid one dollar to the Purser, 
and rode from one city to another, yea, from the third 
hour of the morning to the fifth hour of the evening. 

And there were few passengers on the boat, and I wan- 
dered whither I listed. And every man spake Kindly to 
me, and everything upon the boat was as if it had been 
mine own. 

I climbed upon the Hurricane Deck, and the Pilot 
spake to me, saying, 

Thou mayest enter. 

So I entered, and he showed me how to steer the ship, 
and how to Ring the Bells that gave Signals to the Engi- 
neer whether to go or to halt, and whether to Sail Fast 
or Slow. 

Now while we talked there came one of the Passengers, 
a man whom already I had seen, and he asked a Civil 
Question of the Pilot, and the Pilot answered him rough- 
ly, and the man asked another Question and the Pilot 
answered not, but pointed to a sign where it was written 

35 



36 THE PARABLES OF SAFED THE SAGE 

HOLD NO CONVERSATION WITH THE MAN AT 
THE WHEEL. 

Then I went down into the Lower Parts of the Ship, 
and I spake with the Engineer, who showed me his En- 
gine, and how the Wheels went Round, and the Propeller 
did Propel, and while we were yet speaking the same 
Passenger came down, and he spake to the Engineer, and 
the Engineer was Rude to him. 

And into whatsoever part of the ship I went, there I 
saw him, and in every place it was the same. Yea, the 
men who were Kind to me were all Harsh to him. Yea, 
when the time came for Dinner, the Cook did enter the 
Dining Room and curse him in the presence of the Other 
Passengers. 

And I spake unto the Captain of the Ship, and said, 

Who is this poor man whom every man seemeth to hate, 
whose hand like that of Ishmael is against every man's 
hand, and who alone of all men upon board hath no rights 
on this ship ? 

And the Captain made answer, He is the Man who 
Owneth this Boat. 

And the Captain told me that the Boat had cost Ten 
Thousand Dollars and was Losing Money every Trip, and 
the owner had Come on Board to Learn the Reason Why, 
and how every man was Wroth with him, and Despised 
him, he being only a Rich Man who knew nothing about 
Ships, and could only Poke his Infernal Nose into busi- 
ness that he could not Understand. Yea, the Captain 
said that he and all men on the Ship would Rejoice if the 
Old Duffer should fall overboard. 



THE STEAMBOAT 37 

Now I meditated much concerning this matter. For he 
had paid Ten Thousand Dollars and had nothing but Sor- 
rows. Yea, what he had once counted for Gains, those 
now were Loss. And he had nothing on the Ship Save 
only Anxiety and Abuse. 

Now I had paid only One Dollar, and everything on the 
Ship was Mine ; and when the Ship came to Shore I had 
no further Care whether the Voyage had paid or Not, nor 
whether tomorrow would be Fair and Prosperous, or 
whether it would be Stormy and Dangerous. 

And I considered how much Eicher I was than the Man 
who Thought he Owned the Boat. Yea, I considered how 
he had Fooled Himself, for he had paid Ten Thousand 
Dollars, and owned Nothing. But I, for One Day and for 
One Dollar, had Owned the Boat. Yea, and if I go there 
tomorrow, and have One Dollar more, I can Buy Her 
Again. 

Behold how Rich am I, and how Poor is the Man who 
must add to his Ten Thousand Dollars the losses for Coal 
and Wages and Insurance, and who owneth Nothing, not 
even the Respect of the Men he Feedeth. 

And the Spirit of the Lord Said to me, Take heed and 
be not covetous, for the man who is Richer than thou, he 
is Poorer. 

And I knew this was True; and I considered these 
things. 



THE HOLLYHOCK IN THE STONE PILE 



NOW after the man from Italy tad cut the weeds, and 
had transplanted my Hollyhocks, even the one 
Hollyhock that had been cut off by the Municipal Mower, 
and the Three Hollyhocks that grew in a cluster, and had 
set them out in my Garden, the rain fell on the earth, and 
the Hollyhocks flourished, and I saw them daily and was 
glad. And I wept for more worlds to conquer, and I 
wondered if there might be more Hollyhocks among the 
Weeds. And I said to my Soul, Though I have four 
Hollyhocks, yet am I not content if there be another, 
struggling for life among the weeds, for my Garden is 
wide, and as yet there is little in it. And I went among 
the Weeds, and I sought, and, behold, another Hollyhock. 

And I returned, and brought a spade, and again I went 
among the Weeds which grew as high as my Head. And 
I set down the Spade on one side of the Hollyhock, and 
the spade was Stopped by a Stone. And a Mosquito bit 
me upon the Hand. 

And I set down the Spade upon another side, and the 
Spade struck another Stone ; and a Mosquito bit me upon 
the Cheek. 



THE HOLLYHOCK IN THE STONE PILE 39 

And I set down the Spade upon the third side, and the 
spade struck another Stone ; and a Mosquito bit me upon 
the Forehead. 

And I set down the Spade upon the fourth side, and 
the spade struck another stone, yea, more than one ; and 
the Mosquitoes bit me upon the back of my neck. And 
great was the number of the Stones in that place; for 
some man had hauled a Cartload of broken Stone and 
Dumped it upon that Vacant Lot. But, however so many 
the number of the Stones in the Pile, the number of the 
Mosquitoes was greater. For it had rained much and was 
to rain again. And the Mosquitoes gathered about me in 
a Cloud, and there was no part of me which they did 
not Bite. 

And I digged about the Root of the Hollyhock, and I 
plucked away stones with my Hand. And I removed the 
Hollyhock out of its place. But it came away with no 
Earth upon the Root thereof. Yea, so close had it grown 
among the Stones that I tore the root in getting it out, 
and Bruised it with the Spade and with the Stones. And 
I feared that it would Die ; for it was sore bruised. Yea, 
though I sought to be Careful, yet did I hasten, for the 
Mosquitoes were Something Fierce, and they came yet 
more, And Then Some. 

And I set out the Hollyhock from the Stone Pile near 
unto the Four Hollyhocks, even the one Hollyhock which 
the Mower had cut off, and the Three Hollyhocks that 
grew in a Cluster. 

And the Hollyhock that I had taken from the Stone 
Pile reproached me, and said to me, Surely thou art a 



40 THE PARABLES OF SAFED THE SAGE 

Cruel Master, and I am in thy hands as Clay in the hands 
of a Potter. Was I not doing well in my Stone Pile, and 
asking no favors of thee ? Wherefore didst thou take me 
from my Sheltered Home among the Weeds and Eocks, 
and Cut me and Bruise me, and leave me here Unshel- 
tered and Half Dead? 

And I well-nigh reproached myself, especially when the 
Mosquito bites began to Swell. 

And I prayed to my God, and I said, God, who canst 
not be content while any Human Hollyhock is growing in 
the Weeds, Thou knowest my heart. Thou art not happy 
with Ninety and Nine Hollyhocks blooming in thy Gar- 
den if One Hollyhock be struggling for Life in the Stone 
Pile. Thou knowest, that it was not in my heart to 
Bruise the Hollyhock. Yea, my God, thou hast been 
bitten with the Poisonous Mosquito Bites of Human sin ; 
Thou hast suffered in order to redeem men, and I have 
resented Thy kindnesses that Hurt, even as did the Holly- 
hock resent my Bruising Kindness. 

And I felt that I understood God. 

But still, as I meditated, I cried out, And yet, O God, 
our cases are not Identical. I have but lately come here 
to live Among the Weeds, and I am doing my Best to 
make it Better; but Thou hast been here a Long Time. 
Why dost Thou not Make it Better Faster ? How Long, 
Lord, how Long? Yea, Lord, and I did not plant the 
Hollyhock in the Stone Pile, but pitied it when I saw it 
there. Thou, God, are Righteous; why hast Thou 
planted any Human Life in the midst of the Rocks and 
Weeds and Mosquitoes ? 



THE HOLLYHOCK IN THE STONE PILE 41 

Alas, after all, I am not much wiser than my Holly- 
hocks. Then I remembered that I had been kind to Five 
Hollyhocks, and for a Single Season, yea, for a few days, 
and I remembered the Mercies of my God to the millions 
of men, throughout all the Suffering Ages. 

And I was Humbled, and I believed. 



THE BALDHEADED BARBER 



NOW it fell on a day tha I entered the Establishment 
of a Tonsorial Artist, which is being interpreted a 
Barber Shop. And I sat and waited till the Barber, with 
a loud Voice, cried, Next, and I seated myself in his 
Chair. And he wielded over me divers Deadly Weapons, 
and therewith he cut my Hair, and trimmed my Beard. 
And I sat and looked at myself in the Mirror, and I saw 
myself in a great Bib and Tucker, with patches of Hair 
falling down the front of the Same, and reflecting itself 
in the Glass. And what he was doing to me I saw as in a 
Glass darkly, and what he was saying to me was Many 
things on Divers Topics, for he was a man of Fluent 
Speech. 

And after I had been shorn both as to head and my 
beard, he passed his hand over my head, and said : 

Thy scalp is not very clean. Thou hast need of a 
Shampoo. 

And I consented. 

And he soaped my head, and washed it, and rubbed it, 
and twisted it upon my neck until it was nigh unto break- 
ing off. 

42 



THE BALDHEADED BARBER 43 

Then again he passed his hand across my head, and he 
said: 

The hair upon thy head groweth thin. Let me rub into 
thy scalp some of my famous Hair Restorer. It will make 
hair grow upon the top of a Cowhide Trunk. 

But I said unto him, I am not a Cowhide Trunk. 

And he said, Thou wilt soon be as bald as one if thou 
apply not my famous Hair Restorer. 

And I asked, Speakest thou as the friend of Humanity 
or as a man who hath Hair Restorer for sale ? 

And he answered, I speak as a friend of Humanity, 
nevertheless, for the Hair Restorer and the Rubbing in 
thereof thou shalt pay to me the fourth part of a Dollar, 
in addition to what thou already owest me. 

Now it came to pass as he spake these words, I looked 
in the glass, and behold he stood behind me, with the 
Bottle in his Right Hand, and with his Left Hand spread 
ready to Rub It In, and I saw in the glass his eager face, 
and above it his own head. And he leaned forward as he 
spake, so that I saw in the Glass the top of his head, and 
behold it was Bald. 

Then spake I unto him, and said, thou Friend of Hu- 
manity, who sellest Hair Restorer and thy Soul for the 
fourth part of a Dollar, keep thou thy Medicine, and use 
it upon thine own head. For I have ten times as much 
Hair on the outside of my head as thou hast, and much 
more that is worth while within it. 

And he was wroth, and he combed my hair with: fury, 
and dug the Bristles of the Brush into my Scalp, and 



44 THE PARABLES OF SAFED THE SAGE 

added a Dime to my Bill. Nevertheless my heart rejoiced 
that I had spoken unto him as I did. 

Then said I to my soul, I will take heed to my ways, lest 
I become as he. For I go forth among men and ask them 
to buy of me Wisdom and Virtue and Righteousness. So 
will I pray night and day unto the God of heaven that I 
may be able to recommend among men the Truth which 
God hath revealed unto me, and that no man reproach me 
with the baldness of mine own soul. 

So shall I learn wisdom from the folly of the Bald- 
headed Barber. 



THE WOODPECKER 



NOW, on a morning I entered my Study, and I sat me 
down to read a book by a Learned Man on The Uni- 
formity of Nature. And I thought much about the Rea- 
sons Why the Heat that Burnetii a man on one day doth 
not Freeze him on the next, and why the Sun which Ris- 
eth in the East a part of the Time doth not Rise in the 
West the Remainder of the Time, and why the Law of 
Gravitation which sometimes pulleth the Apple Down 
doth not sometimes Hurl it Up. 

And These Studies proved a Weariness to the Flesh, so 
that I opened my window for Fresh Air. And immed- 
iately there new in a Woodpecker. And no sooner was he 
in than he wished to be out. And he circled Twice or 
Thrice about my Ceiling, and then flew swiftly toward 
another Window which was not open, and Struck it with 
all his Force, so that he Fell to the floor and lay there as 
if he were Dead. And I Rose, and Stood, and looked 
down at him. And I touched him not, but it was revealed 
to me that in his Aching Red Head he was thinking 
thoughts like these : 

Behold, hitherto have I flown wherever there was 
Transparent Space, and have Struck Nothing. But I 

45 



46 THE PARABLES OF SAFED THE SAGE 

have been Knocked Down and well-nigh Killed while fly- 
ing through Space in which I could see plainly. Yea, and 
beyond were Trees, and the Free Air of Spring. Never 
again shall I trust in the Uniformity of Nature ; and the 
ways of the Lord are not equal. 

Then I left him, and I opened my windows from the 
top downward and he rose and flew straight at one of 
them, and was gone. 

And I, who am but very little wiser than he, meditated 
concerning the men I had known who suddenly come Up 
Against a new experience which they are unable to Cata- 
logue among their Theories of life, where something 
which they see not riseth up before them and layeth them 
low, so that they cry out in their anguish that the Lord 
hath forgotten to be Gracious, and that His Mercy is 
clean gone forever. For I have heard them think aloud 
even as I heard the woodpecker with the Aching Bed 
Head. 

Now the Uniformity of Nature is the Veracity of God. 
Yet hath God ways that are not as the ways of men. So I 
besought my God that he would give me Grace to Trust 
Him when I fly through what seemeth Clear Space and 
come Up against Something. 



THE DUMMY ORGAN PIPE 



NOW it came to pass as I journeyed, that I came upon 
a Great Church, which the Builders were making 
Greater. And they pulled down a certain portion of the 
Wall, and builded it Westward, and they removed the 
Organ, and builded one Greater. Now, the Organ that 
had been within the church had been sweet of tone, but it 
was deemed Too Small, and, moreover, it had grown Rick- 
ety, so that it Creaked, and Squawked, and did those 
things which it Ought Not to have done, and left undone 
the Things which it Ought to have done. Wherefore they 
removed it. But the Pipes therein were still good, and 
they Saved them with Care, to 1 be builded into another 
and a Greater Organ. 

Now, the old Organ had never been so great as it 
seemed, but had been Builded into a Larger Space than 
it could Occupy. And one-half of the Pipes in the Front 
Row were Real Pipes and the other half were Dummies. 
And the organ had stood for forty years, and no man sit- 
ting in front of it could have told that Half the Pipes 
were Dummies, nor could he have told which were the 
Real Pipes, and which were the Dummies. 

47 



48 THE PARABLES OF SAFED THE SAGE 

But when the Organ was removed, the Real Pipes were 
Packed with Care, and sent away to a Great Factory, 
there to be Rebuilded into some other Organ. But the 
Dummy Pipes, some larger and some smaller, were cast 
into the junk to be hauled away into the Valley of Hin- 
nom, which same is a valley outside the city gates, like 
unto that which near Jerusalem is called Hell, where the 
worm dieth not, because it feedeth ever upon refuse, and 
the fire is not quenched, because ever they haul to it more 
junk. 

Now as the Dummy Pipes waited for the coming of 
the Hoky-Poky Man, to haul them to the Valley of Hin- 
nom, one of the workmen took the largest of the pipes, 
which was Twelve Cubits long, and was like unto a Real 
Pipe which might have given forth the tone of Middle C 
in the Open Diapason, but which had never given forth 
a tone, for it was a Dummy. And the Workman took it, 
and placed it at the end of a Sewer Pipe, for the same 
had been broken apart in the building ; yet the Sewer was 
still in use in the older part of the Sanctuary, but there 
was need for certain days that a Temporary Pipe should 
be placed there, lest the Filth should Run out in the place 
where workmen wrought ; and there was more work that 
had to be done before the Plumbers could make the Sewer 
Connection. So I came and beheld, and Lo, the Beauti- 
ful Pipe, that was Twelve Cubits in Length, and Half a 
Cubit broad, was in use as a drain for the Drainage of 
Filth. 

And I was displeased, and I sought out the Master of 
the Workmen, and I said, What do ye, defiling a Pipe that 



THE DUMMY ORGAN PIPE 49 

hath had its place in the Organ ? Surely ye have done an 
Unholy thing ! 

And he said, That pipe is doing good service, and it 
had been thrown away, and it was good for nothing else. 
Wherefore should we spend money and have the work 
delayed, to buy a Pipe when here is one at our Hand that 
is Big Enough, and Long enough f or our needs ? 

Nay, said I, but not this Pipe. For this hath had its 
part in the Worship of the House of God; and even 
though it be cast aside I would have it treated Reverently. 

But the Master of the Workmen spake to me sternly, 
and he said, Business is Business. Take heed to thy 
Preaching and I will attend to my Building. We must 
use what Material we can from the Old Building to save 
us Money on the New. For what with the High Cost of 
Living, and the peril of Strikes, it is hard enough to pay 
Expenses as it is. 

Then said I, Lo, I am a poor man, yet will I pay for a 
Sheet Iron Pipe for that place, that a Thing be not De- 
filed with Filth that hath had a place in the worship of 
God. 

But the Master Builder said to me, Keep thy Money, 
and be not too free with it. As for the Pipe, trouble not 
thyself. Forty years it stood in the House of God, falsely 
proclaiming itself to give forth sweet Music, and it gave 
none. This is the first time since it was made that it hath 
ever been of Any Use under Heaven. Let it be used for 
the One Thing it is good for, and then let it go with the 
Junk. 



50 THE PARABLES OF SAFED THE SAGE 

Then I went my way, and I meditated, and I said, Lo, 
this is the portion of the Hypocrite ; for though he stand 
in his place in the House of God for Forty years, yet at 
the end shall he appear as a Hollow Mockery, and God 
shall find for him whatever Place he still can be of use, 
but it may not be a Pleasant Occupation. 

And many times thereafter I thought about the Dum- 
my Organ Pipe, and the Dummy Christian, And I said, 
Lo, if it must be that any man whose life was a Sham 
shall go to the Valley of the Sons of Hinnom, the ways of 
the Lord are just and righteous altogether. 

But I remembered that the Dummy Pipe was Decorat- 
ed with Gold Leaf, and it was good to look upon. And I 
sorrowed at the base use to which it was put. But I 
could not deny that It was useful at the end. 

And I considered these things. 



WHAT THE WOODPECKER DID NEXT 



NOW it came to pass nine days after the Woodpecker 
had flown in at my Window, and I had let him out 
again, after that he had bumped his head once against 
the glass, that I sat in my Study, reading a great Book, 
and there came a Crash against my Window, like as if 
a Brick had been thrown by a Suffraget. But the Win- 
dow brake not. And I rose and looked out of my Win- 
dow, and, lo, there lay on the ground a fluttering Wood- 
pecker. And I looked on him in pity, for he lay on his 
back, and he fluttered; but after that he had fluttered 
for a season he ceased. And I wok him up, and behold 
he was dead. 

And I was sure in my heart it was the same Wood- 
pecker that had Visited me before. And it was given to 
me that I might know what he had Reasoned in his Fool- 
ish Red Head. And this is what he had said : 

Lo, that was a most interesting- Adventure that I had, 
for I did fly into that House and out again, and though 
I bumped my Head so that it ached, yet that could not 
Happen Again if I should fly Hard Enough. Go to now, 
and let me try that Risky Stunt again. 

51 



52 THE PARABLES OF SAFED THE SAGE 

And the Woodpecker's conscience said to him, Go not 
thither again, lest it go ill with thee. Count thyself 
Mighty Lucky that thou didst get out; now stay out. 

But he Hearkened not, and he Flew Violently against 
my Window, so that his Neck Brake and he died. 

And I sorrowed for the Bird, and I said, 

Oh, my God, I have been as foolish as he ; for oft hast 
Thou delivered me from my folly, and I have gone at it 
again, even as this poor foolish Bird. Yea, and of my 
fellowmen there be many whose Souls are as Redheaded 
as this Bird. 

And I prayed my God who minded the Fallen Sparrow 
to be more merciful to birds and men than their folly de- 
serveth. 

And I took up the body of the Woodpecker and I bur- 
ied it nigh unto the roots of the Hollyhocks I had planted. 



THE TWELVE HOLLYHOCKS 



NOW on the Morning After Thanksgiving, I woke 
from my slumber, and I said within my Soul, To- 
day is Friday, and to-morrow will be Saturday, and the 
next day is the Sabbath; and I have two Sermons to 
write, and many more things to do. I will Hasten to my 
Study and Lock my Door, and My Labor shall be Stren- 
uous. 

And while I was speaking, behold there came Men, and 
Horses, and Plows, and Scrapers, and they began to 
Work on the Vacant Lot that lieth North of my House, 
even the House that had been Moved, and set among the 
Weeds. And I went out and spake to them, and I said, 
What do ye? 

And one of them answered, We are to Excavate a great 
Hole, for here shall be builded an House much greater 
than thine, even an Apartment Building, which is, being 
interpreted, an House of Flats. 

And as I ate my Breakfast, I thought within myself, 
Peradventure there are other Hollyhocks in the Weeds 
where they Plow. 

53 



54 THE PARABLES OF SAFED THE SAGE 

And I hastened, and I took a Spade and a Coal Hod, 
and I went among the Tall Weeds. 

And one of the men spake to his fellow, and said, What 
will this Old Duffer do? 

And he asked me, saying, Diggest thou for Buried 
Treasure ? If there is a Gold Mine here and thou know- 
est it by means of thy Philosopher 's Stone, wilt thou not 
let us in on the Ground Floor? 

And I said, I dig for something more precious than 
gold, even a thing that hath Life ; that mysterious Qual- 
ity which no man can Define, which proceedeth from the 
Life of God, and in thee and me maketh Manhood, but in 
this flower it maketh Beauty. Knowest thou not, Man, 
that the Hollyhock came to us from Palestine, and was 
brought to Europe and thence Hither at the Time of the 
Crusades ? It may be that the Flower from which these 
sprang grew once in the Garden of Mary, and the Child 
Jesus may have gathered the Seed. 

And the man returned to his fellows, and he said, The 
Old Fellow Diggeth up a Flower, and he speaketh Most 
Interesting concerning it. And I heard him tell them 
what I had told him. 

Now I digged in Divers Places, and I found Twelve 
Hollyhocks. And I set them all in a Kow just South of 
where my North Fence is to be Builded. For I said, 
These Hollyhocks need Shelter from the Cold Winds. 
Mayhap they will bloom even earlier than those already 
in my garden. 

And I found a place where Cockleburs were thick, and 
among them I saw an Hollyhock. And it had grown so 



THE TWELVE HOLLYHOCKS 55 

in the Weeds it looked like a Weed, and at first I believed 
not that it was an Hollyhock. And I said to myself, 
Thou hast enough. Behold, in digging one Hollyhock 
from that place thou shalt transplant also Ten Cockle- 
burs, and get an hundred of them on thy clothes. But I 
digged it out, for it was not my will that one of those 
Hollyhocks should perish. 

Now I labored till I took off my Coat and my Vest ; and 
the Palm of my Hand grew sore. But I gave no rest to 
my Flesh till I had digged out every Hollyhock I could 
find. And I leaned on my Spade, and I prayed to my 
God, and I said, Bless thou my Hollyhocks, and make 
them grow ; and as I have dealt with them, so deal thou, 
my God, with the Belated and the Disinherited and the 
Sincursed among the sons of men. 

And the Men who drove the Horses were careful not to 
drive their horses upon my Twelve Hollyhocks. 



THE WHITE ELEPHANT 



NOW the Women of the City where I live sought how 
they might secure a sum of money for a Children's 
Hospital, and they devised a White Elephant Sale. And 
the meaning of the words was this, that when any Woman 
had in her house something which she wished to Get Rid 
Of, she called it a White Elephant, and she gave it to the 
Sale. 

Now as I walked in the City, I drew nigh unto the 
place, and I went within. And there were Books and 
Bonnets and Baskets, and Clothes and Candlesticks, and 
Pots and Pictures, and divers kinds of Tools, and Many 
Things of Other Sorts. And a Damsel said to me, Wilt 
Thou not buy of me something 1 And in her Booth were 
Earthen Vessels and Vessels of Brass. And she said, Be- 
hold this Lovely Vase. Thou couldest not buy it at Mar- 
shall Field's for Fourteen Dollars, but here it is Only a 
Dollar. 

And I took from my purse a Dollar, and she wrapped 
the Vase in the Part of an old Newspaper that hath Col- 
ored Pictures, and I bore it Home. 

56 



THE WHITE ELEPHANT 57 

And my wife, Keturah, met me at the door, and she 
spake to me and said, Whence eomest thou, my lord, and 
what dost thou bring ? 

And I said, I come from the White Elephant Sale, and 
I have brought to thee a Lovely Present. 

And I set the Vase upon the Table, and removed the 
Covering, and Keturah looked upon the Vase, and her 
countenance fell ; and then she laughed. 

And I answered and said unto her, Wherefore dost 
thou laugh? 

And she said, Safed, dost thou remember the Hopkins 
family that lived nigh unto us when we were First Mar- 
ried? 

And I said, Yea, I remember them, to my sorrow. 

And she said, Dost thou remember which of many evil 
things they did to us first? 

And I spake to her of the time they borrowed the 
Lawn-mower, and how they Didn 't Do a Thing to it save 
to Ruin it; and of the time their Spoiled Kid threw his 
Ball through the Window, and what his Fond Mother 
said to me when I rebuked him, and about their Chickens 
and their Clotheslines. 

And she said, All these things they did, and many 
more; but the first of all the evil things they did to us 
was the Present they Wished on us at our Wedding. Dost 
thou remember what it was ? 

And my heart fell within me, and I answered, I think 
it was a Vase, but Very Unlike This One. 

And she laughed again, till she wept. And she said, 
Safed, my lord, thou art a wise man, but no man is wise 



58 THE PARABLES OF SAFED THE SAGE 

enough to visit a White Elephant Sale save his Wife be 
with him. Twenty years hath that Horrid Vase been in 
our Attic, and I never had a chance to Get Kid of it till 
Yesterday, when I sent it to the White Elephant Sale. 
And now, behold, thou hast brought it back again. 

And again she laughed. 

But some women would have scolded. 



THE FLOWER CATALOGUE 



NOW the Storms of Winter blew Cold, and the Snow 
of Winter lay Deep, when the Postman brought a 
Catalogue of Flower Seeds and Bulbs. And Keturah 
opened it, and gazed therein with Great Admiration. 
And she said, Safed, my lord. 

And I answered, Here Am I, Keturah. 

And she said, Didst thou ever see Flowers so Beautiful 
as these in this Catalogue? 

And I answered, Neither have I seen such nor hath 
any another man ; such flowers are not in Nature, but in 
Art. 

Nevertheless, said she, I like to look on them, and some 
of them will I buy. 

And I said, Behold the house wherein we live is not 
our own, and it lately was a Place of Weeds, and there 
is a Row of Flats hard by. 

But she said, We will make it More Attractive. Thou 
hast thy Hollyhocks ; I will have Phlox and Chrysanthe- 
mums and Cockleshells and Silver Bells and Cowslips 
all in a Row. 

So she wrote to the man whose Vivid Imagination had 
produced the Catalogue, and sent him Money, and he 
wrote that he would send the Plants in the Spring. 

59 



60 THE PARABLES OP SAFED THE SAGE 

And it came to pass on a day that they came by Ex- 
press. And I digged in the Ground with a Spade, and 
I set them out that they should grow. And the Eoots 
were wondrous things wherewith to lay hold on the Earth 
and transform it into Beauty, so that the one kind of 
Root might make earth and water into Eoses, and another 
into Lilies. And as I digged in the Earth I thought 
much of the Wonder of Life as God had placed it in the 
world. 

And I said to her, Keturah, we might not have done 
this had not some Benefactor of the Human Race sent us 
a Seed Catalogue. 

And she said, Told I not thee it would be well that we 
should do this? 

And I answered, Whether we tarry here a year or ten 
years, still am I glad to have planted some Flowers. Yea, 
though we live not to enjoy them, yet will others be glad. 
Keturah, thou hast done well. And so did the man who 
sent the Catalogue. 

And I called down from Heaven a Blessing upon all 
men, be they Ministers or Merchants, who suggest to men 
the good things they ought to do, and who make the doing 
of them Lovely. 

For I myself am a distributor of Catalogues of As- 
sorted Virtues, and I say to people, Behold how lovely is 
Goodness! Go to, even now in the Winter of thy De- 
pravity, and break up the fallow ground of thy heart 
against the time when thou shalt plant goodness, and it 
shall Blossom in Beauty. 



THE USES OF THE WHITE ELEPHANT 



NOW after that I had returned from the White Ele- 
phant Sale, there were certain days wherein I 
feared Lest Keturah should speak to me concerning it, 
and I hoped that she would not. For there was not much 
that I could say ; and while I love to hear her laugh, still 
her Laughter concerning the White Elephant Vase had 
been Immoderate, and I had heard Enough of it. But 
she spake no more of it, for she is a Wise Woman, and 
when she hath Laughed, she doth not Rub It In. 

But I Looked about the House, where she had put it. 
And I found it not, neither in the Pantry nor in the Par- 
lor ; neither in the Attic nor in the Ashcan. And I said, 
She hath given it to the Salvation Army. But she eared 
too much for the Salvation Army to have done such a 
thing. 

Now there was a day when the Apple Blossoms were 
out, and the Trees were Glorious with them. And Ke- 
turah made a Great Bouquet of them, and placed it on 
the Dinner Table, and it was a Mountain of Fragrant 
Beauty. And it came down on every side so that it 

61 



62 THE PARABLES OF SAFED THE SAGE 

touched the Table. And I praised her, for she had done 
Excellently. 

And She liked it that I praised her. 

And on the Third Day she said, Behold, the Petals have 
fallen, and the Bouquet is no longer Beautiful. Wilt 
thou not carry it out, and Throw it Away? 

And I did even as she asked me. And when I had 
thrown the stems away, I looked at the Vase in my hand, 
and it was even the White Elephant. 

And I was minded to take it, and throw it into the 
Lake. But she Restrained me. 

And she said unto me, Even though the Vessel be un- 
lovely, yet doth it Hold Water, yea and Hold flowers; 
and I can drape the Flowers that they Cover the Vase, 
that only the Beauty shall Appear. 

And I said, Oh, Keturah, thou art a wonder ; but why 
not cast it away, and buy a Vase that is Beautiful ? 

And she said, My lord, I have decided to keep it that it 
may be to us a Parable. For everyone hath his White 
Elephant, and life bringeth to all men and women much 
of which they fain would be rid, yet which the Providence 
of God permitteth them not to cast wholly out of their 
lives. And when they find that it is so, lo, there is a way, 
if they seek for it, whereby they may Make the Best of it. 
Even so have I resolved to do with my White Elephants. 

And I meditated long. And I spake, saying, Keturah. 

And she smiled and said, Say on, my lord. 

And I asked her, Am I one of thy White Elephants? 

And she smiled yet more, and she said, WTiether thou 
art or not, no Mark Down Sale shall have thee. 



THE PLANT I DID NOT BUY 



NOW while I was setting out the Roots which Keturah 
had bought from the man who made the Seed Cata- 
logue, I found one Root that Stuck up out of the Ground, 
and I laid hold upon it, and I said, Here is a Root that 
Beareth no Label. I wonder what it is ? Behold, I know 
not, yet will I plant it, and see what Cometh up. 

And Keturah answered and said, Knowest thou not 
what that is? It is a Dandelion which thou didst Dig up 
in making the Holes for the Flowers. 

And I was ashamed that I had not known it before. 
Nevertheless, I saw what it was, even while she was tell- 
ing me. For I am not wholly an Ignorant man, albeit for 
the moment I knew not the root, what it was. 

And I held the Dandelion root in my hand. And I 
looked at it, and beheld how Deep it had sunk into the 
Earth, and how firmly it had laid hold on the Soil with 
its one long Root, and I admired the way it had planned 
to Stay Put. 

And I looked at the top, and though it seemed to have 
no life, yet there were Leaves Curled up and ready to 
push themselves forth, yea, and a Bud that was all but 

63 



64 THE PARABLES OF SAFED THE SAGE 

ready to lift its head above the ground as soon as the 
winter was past. 

And I said to the Dandelion, Behold thou art a Plucky 
Plant. Thou sinkest thy Root to a Great Depth. Thou 
sendest up thy Hollow Stalk in the form of Construction 
the Strongest known to any Engineer. Thy White Ball 
of soft Down is the most Beautiful and Delicate thing in 
Nature ; yea, and even thy Yellow Blossom is Marvelous, 
for every little yellow leaf is a flower. Moreover, it is 
not thy fault that men call thee a Weed. If it were only 
Hard to make thee Grow, men would pay Good Money 
for thy Roots, and break their Backs setting thee out, 
and declare that a sight of thee, sprinkling thy gold over 
a green Lawn, was the Perfection of Gardening. Neither 
didst thou sin nor thy parent flowers, yet are thou Des- 
pised and Rejected, and men Love thee Not. 

And when I thought of these things, I could not find it 
in my heart to cut off a life so wonderful and so plucky ; 
neither did I want it in my garden. But I took it down 
to the Alley that runneth behind my house, and I planted 
it there. And I said, Now the Lord judge whether it be 
not better thou shouldst grow there than that the ground 
be cumbered by a Tin Can. 

Yet I looked around and hastened back to the House 
lest my Neighbors should know that I had planted a Dan- 
delion. 

And who knoweth whether I did right or wrong ? 
For if some great Blight should come upon the Dande- 
lions in the Front Lawns of all men, then would they 



THE PLANT I DID NOT BUY 65 

come and seek in my Alley, and beg a seed of my Dande- 
lion. 

For though I be chided for giving the Dandelion a 
Fighting Chance for its life, yet have I known men whose 
lives were as Weeds whom God Spared in His Mercy, and 
they Bloomed in Wonderful and Unexpected Goodness. 



HOW I OBTAINED THE PHILOSOPHER'S STONE 



NOW in the days of my youth there was a Wise Man, 
who had lived to a Great Age ; and he had a Stone 
called the Philosopher's Stone, wherein he looked and 
Saw Strange Things, and Understood Great Mysteries. 
And all men Wondered what he would do with the Stone 
when he Died. And it came to pass that he sent out Mes- 
sengers to all the Prophets and Sages and Soothsayers, 
and said unto them : 

Behold, I go the way of all flesh; and before I go I 
shall give this Stone to the man who is to Follow after 
me. Come ye, then, all who are wise, and let me discover 
which of you is Worthy, that he may Inherit this Stone. 

And most of those who were Reputed Wise began to 
make Excuse, for they Feared to Come, lest he should Lay 
Bare their Folly ; and they sent him Messages saying that 
they had Previous Engagements, but hoped that he would 
send them the Stone by Parcels Post, and they would pay 
the Freight. 

But there were seven men who went, from seven cities ; 
and they came before him. And he sat in his Chair, and 

66 



HOW I OBTAINED THE PHILOSOPHER'S STONE 67 

he had a long white beard, and he commanded the seven 
wise men to stand before him. 

And thus he spake to them — 

This Stone, which was brought to earth by a Meteor, 
and found by a man who was a Seventh Son of a Seventh 
Son, I shall give to the man among you who Returneth 
the Right Answer to the Question which I shall ask. Are 
you ready for the Question? 

And certain of the Wise Men Answered and said to 
him, "We are ready. Ask us whatsoever Question thou 
wilt. Ask it in the Firmament or in the Earth; in the 
Land or in the Sea ; in Things Movable or Things Immov- 
able ; lo, we are Ready. 

Then, said he, I will ask you this Question: What is 
the Best Way for a Man to help a Woman over a Fence ? 

And they were all Dumb for a season, for truly he had 
put them up against a Hard One. 

Then answered the first of the Wise Men, and said, He 
should stand with her upon the nearer side, and with his 
right hand under her left elbow should gently lift her the 
while she climbeth. 

And the second answered, and said, He should kneel 
upon one knee, and let her step in his hand, as if she were 
to mount an Horse. 

And the third said, He should himself climb over first, 
and offer her his hand, while she Gracefully Steppeth 
down on the Farther Side. 

And the fourth said, He should indeed climb over first, 
and she should climb to the Top, and when she Sitteth 
There upon the Top of the Fence, he should put up both 



68 THE PARABLES OF SAFED THE SAGE 

hands, not permitting her to climb down, but should 
cause her to Leap Boldly and Gracefully into his Arms. 

And the fifth said, He should assail the Fence, and 
carry it away as Samson did the Gates of Gaza, so should 
he make an highway for her to pass through. 

And the sixth said, The way for a Man to help a 
Woman over a Fence is to "Walk with her till they find a 
Gate, and open the Gate and walk through with her ; and 
the Lovelier the Lady, the farther should it be to the 
Gate. 

Now when they had all spoken, they waited for the 
Ancient Man to award the Stone. And he said, Have ye 
all spoken? 

And they answered and said, We have spoken. 

And they had forgotten me, for I was the youngest of 
them all. But the Ancient Man had seen me. And he 
beckoned with the hand, and I drew near and he said to 
me: 

Young man, what sayest thou? With Which of these 
Six Men dost thou Agree? 

And I answered, With none of them. 

Then said he, Speak thou, and tell us what is the Best 
Way for a Man to help a Woman over a Fence ? 

And I answered and said, The Best Way for a Man to 
help a Woman over a Fence is for him to cross over, and 
go on a little space about his Business, yet not too far ; 
and let her Climb over Any Old Way that Pleaseth her. 

Then were they all silent. 

And he gave the Stone to me. 



THE USE OF THE PHILOSOPHER'S STONE 



NOW, when the Ancient Man had given me the Stone, 
the Six other men who had come for it rose and 
went their way. And some spake Courteously to the An- 
cient man in Farewell, but certain of them said one to 
another that they did not believe the Stone was good for 
Anything Anyway, and that the Old Fellow was a Fake. 
For so are men accustomed to speak when they are Dis- 
appointed. And they all Looked at me with Little Love, 
and I knew that in gaining the Stone I had lost Six 
Friends. 

Now after they had Gone, I sat at the feet of the An- 
cient Man for the space of an Whole Hour by the Clock 
above his head, and neither of us Spake. And I grew 
Weary of the Silence. Then I said, 

This Thing is Getting on my Nerve. I have Waited, as 
became a Younger Man, but it is time for Somebody to 
Wake Up and Get Busy and Say Something. 

And he said, Young Man, thou hast Spoken Wisely, 
even if thou hast Spoken Unwisely. 

And I understood him not. Then he said, 

69 



70 THE PARABLES OF SAFED THE SAGE 

Silence is a Good Thing up to a Certain Limit, but 
there comes a Time when Somebody Ought to Say Some- 
thing; and it were better to Speak Unwisely and let a 
Wiser Man Rebuke thee than to Continue sitting and say- 
ing nothing. Thou didst grow Weary of the Silence, and 
so did I. 

Then I asked him, Why then didst thou not Speak ? 

And he answered, It would have been bad for my Rep- 
utation if I had seemed less Patient than thou. And now 
that thou hast spoken, what is it thou Desirest to Say? 

Then said I, O great and mighty Seer, whose fame is 
abroad in the land, because from thy lips drop Words of 
Wisdom, and from thy pen Treasured Thoughts, which 
the Newspapers print, two things have I been wanting to 
hear thee say. And the first of them is this, What are the 
uses of the Philosopher's Stone which thou hast given 
me ? May I, indeed, look therein and know the Hearts of 
men and the Will of God? 

And he answered, Nay, my son. But I will tell thee 
into what Stone thou shalt Look, that thou mayest know 
the Hearts of Other Men and thereby also shalt thou 
know the Will of God. When men come to thee seeking 
wisdom, and lamenting their Mistakes and Sins, look not 
into this Stone, for it can teach thee Nothing. Look thou 
into thine Own Heart. And see thou give no Message to 
other men till thou hast Spoken it to thine Own Heart, 
and thine Heart hast said, Amen. For in nothing canst 
thou be a safe Guide to others, save as thou dost make the 
Truth real to Thyself. 



THE USE OF THE PHILOSOPHER'S STONE 71 

And I sat in silence, for I knew he had spoken Wisely. 
And to what he said my heart said, Amen. 

And he said to me, Thine own Heart, my son, that and 
that only, is the true Philosopher 's Stone. 

And I considered much what he was saying. 

Then said I to him, But this Stone in mine Hand, is it 
only a Fraud, and Useless? 

And he said unto me, Nay, my son, it hath three uses. 
The first is that of its Reputation. The Hearts of men 
are Hard, and their Minds are Stupid, and they need 
Tangible Symbols. Many there be who are unable to 
trust the judgment of their Fellow Man, whose Brain and 
Soul they think are like unto their Own, but who bow 
down in Reverence before a Stone with a Pretty Story 
concerning it. Let them look at the Stone, while thou 
dost look into thine own Heart, and theirs. 

And I said, Tell me the second use of the stone. 

And he said, It is to lie upon thy Desk, and keep thy 
Papers from blowing away in the Wind. 

And I said, I hear and understand. Tell me now the 
third use of the Stone. 

And he said, My son, the ear of man is dull, and thy 
voice can reach only a few of them. What thou hast to 
say to men, speak in their ears. But see thou stop not 
with the Utterance, lest only a few hear thee, and they 
Forget. What thou speakest, Speak, but Write it also. 
Behold I will show thee the Greatest Use of the Philoso- 
pher's Stone. 

And he took from his Pouch a Pencil and a Knife, And 
he took the Stone from my hand, and he Spat thereon, 



72 THE PARABLES OF SAFED THE SAGE 

and he sharpened the knife therewith, and with the 
sharpened Knife he Sharpened his Pencil. 

And I saw and understood. 

Thus did I learn the uses of the Philosopher 's Stone. 

And he said, My son, did I not hear thee say there were 
Two Things thou didst Consider while we sat in Silence, 
and wished to Hear me Say ? 

And I answered, Yea, sire. And one of them was to 
Tell me the Uses of the Philosopher's Stone, and thou 
hast told me. And the second I greatly Long to Hear 
thee Say, but I am Abashed to Mention it. 

And he said, I will save thee thine Embarrassment, for 
I can read thy Mind, for Concerning it I have Inside In- 
formation, and I know what thou didst hope I would say, 
My son, let us go out to Lunch. 

And I marveled at his Wisdom, for he had read my 
Mind. 



THE HOLLYHOCK AND THE DANDELION 



NOW before I had moved the Roots of the Hollyhocks, 
I had gathered the Seed that grew thereon. And 
when the Spring had come, and the Hollyhocks were 
springing up from the Roots, Keturah said to me, Safed. 
' And I answered, Here am I . 

And she said, Let us take this Hollyhock Seed and 
plant it along the Back Fence, hard by the Alley ; and if 
there be enough of the Seed we may even plant some of 
it within the Alley. 

And the saying pleased me. And I sought in the Base- 
ment and I found a Spade, and an Hoe, and a Rake. And 
Keturah sought, and she found a Trowel. 

And as we digged, we came to the place where I had 
planted the Dandelion. And she said, Behold, here is 
ground that hath been digged already; and lo, here is 
something planted therein. 

And she Prodded with her Trowel, and she discovered 
the Dandelion. 

And I turned my back, and digged elsewhere. 

And she said, Safed, look on me. 

73 



74 THE PARABLES OF SAFED THE SAGE 

And I looked on her, and she was good to look upon ; 
yet as she stood there, with her Trowel in her Right 
Hand, and the Root of the Dandelion in her Left, I stood 
in Awe of her. For she was like a Winged Victory, albeit 
she had a Head, which the Winged Victory hath not. 

And she said, Safed, didst thou plant this Dandelion? 

And I said, The Dandelion hath a right to its life, and 
it is only because it is common men think it a Weed. 

And she said, Thou speakest like a Phool Philosopher. 
Knowest thou not that the labor thou didst waste in 
planting one Dandelion would have sown the seeds of Ten 
Hollyhocks? Thou mindest me of much of the Sloppy 
Sentimentality which foolish people put into Books on 
Philanthropy. And thou showest me how necessary it is 
that the Truly Wise should superintend the activities of 
the Merely Good. 

And I said, Keturah. 

But she listened not, and she said, In a world where 
there is not room enough for all the things that would 
grow, it is necessary to choose what form of Life and 
Goodness we shall Cultivate. The world is nigh clean 
gone to the bad because people are content to cultivate 
habits for which they can frame some Cheap Sentimental 
Apology, while the seeds of Greater Goodness go un- 
planted, because there is no Room. 

And I listened to her, for she spake words of wisdom. 

And she flung the Dandelion Root far down the Alley, 
albeit she flung it not in the Direction she intended. And 
she said to me, Now, for thy Folly, dig thou up that spot 
of ground yonder wherein there grow Twenty Dande- 



THE HOLLYHOCK AND THE DANDELION 75 

lions, and plant thou there this seed of the Glorious 
Hollyhock. For he who groweth a Dandelion in the gar- 
den of his life and habit, when he might be growing an 
Hollyhock, to him it is sin. 

And I did even as Keturah said unto me. 

And if any man thinketh that I did wrong, he may 
come into my Alley, and seek till he findeth the root of the 
Dandelion, and do with it what seemeth to him good. 
Yea, and he may have more Dandelions if he wanteth 
them. 

But let him not plant them where Keturah reigneth. 



THE CHICKENS AND THE MUSH 



NOW Keturah considered the High Cost of Living, 
and she said, Let us buy an Incubator, and keep 
Hens. So she sold her Waste Paper to the Rag Man, and 
she bought an incubator, and put Eggs therein, and in 
thrice seven days the Eggs Hatched, and there came forth 
Little Chickens. And Keturah fed them. 

And it came to pass on a day that I went into the Yard, 
and beheld Keturah feeding the Chickens. And that 
whereon she fed them was Mush. 

And she took the Mush from a Bowl with a Spoon, and 
she dropped a great Spoonful on the Ground. And all the 
Little Chickens ran every one of them after the Mush. 

And she walked on a little farther and dropped an- 
other Spoonful. And all the little chickens forsook the 
first Spoonful and ran after the second. Yea, they trod 
every one of them upon the Mush which they had been 
eating that they might Hasten after other Mush. 

And she went on a little farther and dropped a third 
Spoonful. And all the little chickens forsook the second 
Spoonful and ran after the third. And the Mush of the 
first Spoonful and of the second Spoonful they despised. 

76 



THE CHICKENS AND THE MUSH 77 

And some of the chickens got none of any of the three 
Spoonfuls. But if part of them had gone to each Spoon- 
ful they might all have had Mush. Nevertheless, did they 
all follow Keturah all around the Lot, and every chicken 
was Among Those Present when the last Spoonful was 
dropped. 

And I meditated much thereon. And I said, Keturah. 

And she said, Here am I, my lord. 

And I said, Men are like Chickens. 

And Keturah said, What about women ? 

And I said, No matter how good is the food they al- 
ready have, yet do they forsake it and run where the last 
Fad droppeth. And what they obtain after all their 
running is but Mush. 

And I spake again, and I said, Keturah, men are like 
unto young chickens. 

And Keturah said, So are women. 



THE PINS 



NOW it was the Sabbath Day, and I rose and washed 
myself and attired myself in Clean Raiment, and 
went to the Honse of God. And it came to pass that I 
sought in the Middle Drawer and I found therein a Clean 
Shirt which had been sent home from the Laundry. And 
the bosom thereof shone like polished Alabaster ; and the 
Starch therein was so stiff that one might scarcely open 
the Buttonholes without a Screwdriver. 

And before I could put it on I pulled out Sundry Pins 
which the Laundry had placed therein, and there were 
many Pins in the Shirt. 

And After I had pulled out Pins enough to hold the 
Solar System in place, I put on the Shirt. 

But I had overlooked One Pin. 

And I went to the Synagogue, and I sat down; and I 
found that there remained a Pin in the Garment from 
which I had withdrawn so many Pins. 

And I changed my Position so that the Pin no longer 
hurt me, and I forgot about it for a season. But when we 
had risen up to Praise the Lord in Song, and had sat 
down again, behold the Pin hurt me again, and in quite 

78 



THE PINS 79 

another portion of mine Anatomy. And later I found it 
still Elsewhere. 

And when I had returned to my house I removed my 
Garments and I sought for the Pin and found it, and re- 
moved it ; and it hurt me no more. 

And I said to my soul, 

Take not overmuch Comfort in the faults thou hast 
removed; neither be thou self-righteous. Behold, while 
one Pin remaineth in thy Shirt, did it not hurt thee in 
Twenty Places ? Even so is one fault which thou remov- 
est not. Therefore let no man cherish pride until he be 
perfect ; and if the time come when he count himself per- 
fect, lo, this belief is the one remaining Pin. Yea, and it 
is long like a Hatpin, and jabbeth both himself and his 
f ellowmen. Wherefore beware of self -righteousness ; and 
see thou forget not to remove the Pins that remain. 

And I considered well these things. 



THE TIME TABLE 



NOW it came to pass in one of my journeys that I rode 
in a Locomotive; and just before the train Pulled 
Out the Conductor came beside the Cab and handed the 
Engineer a New Time Table, and the Conductor Spake 
unto the Engineer, saying : 

"She goes into effect to-day, Bill. Burn up the old 
one. ' ' 

And the Engineer took down the Old Time Table and 
cast it into the Burning, Fiery Furnace, and it was total- 
ly consumed. 

And I spake unto him, saying : 

What do ye, burning up the Old Time Table? 

And he showed me the new one, on the face whereof 
was printed in letters of great size : 

DESTEOY ALL PEEVIOUS TIME TABLES. 

And I said unto him : 

But consider how useful hath been the Old Time Table. 
It hath brought thee and thy train safely on time for six 
months, and never wast thou at fault so long as thou didst 
guide thy train according thereto. And behold it differ- 

80 



THE TIME TABLE 81 

eth but little from the new one. Wherefore shouldst thou 
cast it into the Burning, Fiery Furnace ? 

And he said : 

The less it differeth the more certainly I must burn it. 
If the differences were great I might Remember them, but 
being so small, and with the Habit that is upon me, I 
should certainly forget, and my train would go Sky- 
hooting through the Rear end of some other Train, and 
the Passengers thereof would go to Heaven ahead of 
Schedule Time. Wherefore must every Old Time Table 
be utterly destroyed. 

And I opened the Bible, and I read therein how Heze- 
kiah brake in pieces the Brazen Serpent that Moses had 
made, and called it Nehushan, though many sang in his 
day, 

It was good enough for Moses 
And it's good enough for me. 

And the Engineer rang the Bell and blew the Whistle, 
and the Train sped away along the Track, and as the 
Journey proceeded I thought much of these things. 



THE UNEXPECTED HOLLYHOCKS 



NOW the Spring came, so that the Birds were singing 
nigh unto my habitation, and I went often into my 
Garden, and sought for the Hollyhocks which I had 
planted. 

And there came forth from the ground Small Green 
Leaves in a Cluster where I had planted the root of the 
Three Hollyhocks which the Municipal Mower spared, 
and I rejoiced. And I sought where I had planted the 
One Hollyhock which the Mower had cut down, and for 
many days it came not up, so that I sorrowed. And I 
said, Lord, I loved that one more than any of the rest; I 
pray Thee let that one also spring forth from the earth. 

And after certain days that also came up, and it grew, 
albeit not so Vigorously; and I tended it, and watched 
it ; for I was not minded that it should Perish, but that 
it should blossom and bear Seed. 

And after these things, I sought along the Fence where 
I had planted the Other Hollyhocks, ere they digged the 
Great Pit for the Building of Some Flats. And a few of 
them I found, but others I found not ; for the place had 
been Bleak, and the Soil not so good, and some of the 

82 



THE UNEXPECTED HOLLYHOCKS 83 

Roots were Bruised by the Stones, and cut by the Spade, 
when I hastened because the Mosquitoes were Something 
Fierce, and there was no place where they Bit me Not. 
And I mourned that I had not gotten a few more Mos- 
quito Bites, while I was about it, rather than that I 
should have Wrought Hastily. Nevertheless, let no man 
judge me till he hath sought to dig Hollyhocks out of a 
Stonepile, on a Warm, Moist Day nigh about the time of 
the Going Down of the Sun, when the Mosquitos rise out 
of the Wet Weeds and Settle upon him as a Cloud. 

But in the places where the Hollyhocks sprang not 
from the Roots, there sprang up Very Little Hollyhocks 
in great number. For I had sought to carry as much 
Earth as I might with the Roots, and in the Earth I car- 
ried were the Seeds of the Hollyhocks that had died. 

And when I saw them I rejoiced, and I said, Oh, my 
God, Thou destroyest the hopes of man, even as spake thy 
servant Job. Yet thou art not a God that delightest in 
destruction. I thank Thee for the Unexpected Holly- 
hocks, which are more in number than the Hollyhocks 
that are dead. 

And I sorrowed no more for the Mosquito bites. 

But at the time they were grievous; yea, they were 
Something Fierce. 



THE WIDOWER WHO WOULD MARRY AGAIN 



NOW, there came to me a man who said, Look into the 
Philosopher's Stone and tell me whom I should 
Marry. 

And I seated him opposite my window, and I sat in the 
shadow, and I took the Philosopher's Stone in mine hand, 
and I asked him, Hast thou been married before ? 

And he said, Yea, I lived seventeen years with my wife, 
and she hath gone to Heaven, and I am lonely, therefore 
would I marry again. 

And I asked him, Was thy first wife a Member of the 
Church? 

And he answered, Yea, she was a devout woman. I also 
am a Member of the Church. But I have thought that as 
Variety addeth something to Life, this time I would seek 
a wife a Little Bit More Gay. 

And I looked into the Philosopher 's Stone, and into his 
face, and I knew that There is No Fool Like an Old Fool. 

And I said unto him, Hast thou found this Gay Lady ? 

And he said, There is a Girl, and believe me, she is 
Some Girl. I met her thrice at Bridge, and Four times 

84 



THE WIDOWER WHO WOULD MARRY AGAIN 85 

at Tango. She, I think, would; add to my life a Little 
Element of Variety. 

And I said to him, Thus far thy Guess is a Good One. 
She will do that, and Then Some. 

And I said to him, Hath the Church of which thou art 
a member a Woman's Society? 

And he answered, Yea ; but its members are not quite 
the Speed of the Girl of whom I told thee. 

And I said to him, On Friday when the Woman's So- 
ciety of thine own Church doth meet, and the women Sew 
for the Heathen, and spread forth a Box Lunch at Noon, 
go thou there. Ask all the Widows and the Maidens to 
stand up in a row with their faces to the wall. Then let 
an Elderly Matron blindfold thee, and take thou an 
Handkerchief and fling it at the Bow, and the woman 
whom thou hittest, marry her, and let her be thy wife. 

And he asked, Is that the way to choose a wife ? 

And I answered him, Not for a wise man. But for an 
Old Fool, who, having had a Good Christian Wife, goeth 
to seek her Successor among the seekers of Pleasure, even 
to such an one as thyself, the way I tell thee is the way of 
wisdom. 

And he looked at the Philosopher's Stone, and won- 
dered if I had learned it there. 

It was none of his Business where I learned It. 



OF TRUTH IN UNEXPECTED PLACES 



NOW after I had obtained the Philosopher's Stone 
came divers of my Friends who, up to that time, 
had shown little interest in me, and some of them became 
Quite Friendly. And they sat in my Study Carelessly 
Handling the Philosopher 's Stone. And I seemed not to 
be watching them, but I watched. For some of them 
would have Slipped it into their Pockets absentmindedly. 

Now among the rest was a Neighbor, whose Garden 
joined hard to mine, and whose chickens were more at 
home in my Garden than in his. And he asked me to 
loan him the Philosopher's Stone that he might add to 
its 1 Virtue. For, said he, It should be rubbed with the 
Fur of a Black Cat in the Dark of the Mloon. And he had 
a Black Cat, as I knew to my sorrow. 

But I would not loan him the Stone, for I knew it was 
in his heart to keep it, and return to me another Stone 
like unto it in Appearance but not in Virtue. So I said 
to him that the Stone Suited Me as it then was ; and as 
for the rubbing of it with the Fur of a Black Cat in the 
Dark of the Moon, I had no faith in that, being only a 
Superstition. 

86 



OF TRUTH IN UNEXPECTED PLACES 87 

But it came to pass on a night that his Black Cat 
walked on the Fence between the two Gardens and con- 
tinually did Yowl. And this had he done often aforetime, 
so that it drove sleep from my eyes and slumber from my 
eyelids. 

And I awoke out of my sleep, and the Black Cat yowled 
yet again, and then some. 

And I stretched forth my hand, and I laid hold on the 
Philosopher's Stone, and I cast it even as David ben Jesse 
cast a smooth stone at Goliath of Gath. 

And the Black Cat yowled no more. 

And I laid me down and slept again, and counted what 
I had done to have been among my Good Deeds. 

And I arose very early in the morning, and I walked in 
my Garden, and I found the Philosopher's Stone on my 
own side of the Fence, and the Black Cat lay on the other 
side. And it was just as it should have been. And I 
picked up the Stone and brought it back to my Table. 
But the Cat I left for my Neighbor to pick up ; for I be- 
lieve in an Equitable Division. I want no more than my 
share. 

Now my Neighbor often speaketh to me of his sorrow 
that I did not lend him the Stone before the night when 
his Black Cat died. But I have no sorrow. Yea, I know 
in my heart that the Stone hath now this added virtue 
whereof he spake to me. 

For I have discovered that there is some truth even in 
untruthful superstitions. And I regard the Stone as pos- 
sessing more virtue since the night when I rubbed it 
against the fur of the Black Cat in the Dark of the Moon. 



NATURE-FAKING HOLLYHOCKS 



NOW the Little Unexpected Hollyhocks that had 
grown where the roots of the older Hollyhocks died, 
grew slowly at the first, but afterward they grew might- 
ily. And I drave Stakes about them. And when there 
came to me a man of Italy, or a Parthian, or Mede, or a 
Dweller in Mesopotamia, and besought me that I would 
give him an Hour's Work, because that he had no money 
to buy him a Drink, I gave him work, but I charged him 
straightly, See thou dig nothing inside those Stakes. 

Now, Keturah beheld the Stakes that I had Driven, and 
she came to behold what was inside them. And I said to 
her, Keturah, behold my young Hollyhocks. 

And she said unto me, My lord, art thou sure that these 
are Hollyhocks? 

And I answered, Of a surety they are Hollyhocks. They 
have grown out of the soil that I brought with the Holly- 
hock roots that died. These are the Hollyhocks which the 
Lord hath given me in the place of those that are no more. 

And she answered nothing . 

And when Keturah is silent, I can never be sure that 
she is not thinking. 

88 



NATURE-FAKING HOLLYHOCKS 89 

Now, in the fulness of time there came a mighty rain. 
And it rained three days and three nights. And the 
weather was warm. 

And while the ground was still wet, I went out to see 
my Hollyhocks that had grown where the roots of the old 
Hollyhocks had died. And behold, they were Burdocks, 
and Mustard. 

And Keturah lifted up her voice and said, What aileth 
thee, Safed? 

And I said, I am wroth because the Hollyhocks that I 
spared are Burdocks. 

And again she said nothing. 

And I read in the Word of God wherein the prophet 
spake of the Sorrows of God, that He had planted a Vine- 
yard in a very Fruitful Hill, and looked that it should 
bear Grapes, and it brought forth Wild Grapes. And I 
cried out, What more could I have done for my Young 
Hollyhocks that I have not done for them? Wherefore 
are they Burdocks? 

And I said, Keturah. 

And she said, Here am I, my lord. 

And I said, Didst thou know all the time that those 
were not Hollyhocks? 

And she answered, Yea, my lord ; I knew. 

And I said, Wherefore didst thou not tell me ? 

And she answered, That knowledge is most valuable 
that we Learn of Ourselves, and which Costeth us Some- 
thing. 



90 THE PARABLES OF SAFED THE SAGE 

And I Pulled up the Burdocks, yea, and the Too Much 
Mustard, and I hanged them on the fence, high as 
Haman. 

And Keturah said, Saf ed, my lord. 

And I answered her, Say on. 

And she said, See thou pull carefully. For Burdocks 
and Mustard when they are small look much like Holly- 
hocks ; peradventure there shall be among these Weeds an 
Hollyhock. 

And I found it even so. Among them all were a score 
of Burdocks and two score of Mustard, but there was one 
Hollyhock. And I spared it, and I said, If this one shall 
thrive and bloom, I shall see of the travail of my soul, 
and shall be satisfied. 



THE WEEDS IN MY GARDEN 



NOW, after I had planted my Garden, there were cer- 
tain mornings when I rose early and took my Hoe, 
and went out, and Watched Things Grow. And my soul 
was Enlarged. 

But as it grew later in the Spring there came nights 
when I had been out, and the Morning Came Too Soon, 
and I went not into my Garden. And when I went after 
a Week or Two, behold the Weeds had grown Faster than 
my Plants. 

And I toiled with my Hoe till I blistered my Hand, yet 
gained I but little. And Everything seemed to Happen 
to my Plants, and nothing to harm the Weeds. 

And one day I returned from my Garden, and I was 
weary. And I ate my bread in the sweat of my face. 

And I said, Keturah, I am a Punk Gardener. 

And Keturah answered, It would not be becoming in 
me to Dispute my lord. 

And I said, Behold, my fathers before me were Punk 
Gardeners. My first Ancestor was a Gardener, and he 
could not Hold Down his Job. 

91 



92 THE PARABLES OF SAFED THE SAGE 

And Keturah answered, Let not my lord be Discour- 
aged overmuch. That Ancestor of thine Got some Good 
Things out of his Garden; surely thou canst do as well 
as he. 

And I answered, Yea, he got some good things out of 
that Garden, the one of which was Experience ; and that 
is a fruit that hath its bitter and its sweet, but is Profit- 
able. 

And Keturah answered, My lord hath spoken wisely. 
Likewise did Adam get a vision of the Eternal Mystery 
of Life, and beheld the wonder of Nature, that seed cast 
into the ground cometh forth in marvelous forms of beau- 
ty. Oh, my lord, is not that worth a blistered hand ? 

And I answered, thou wise woman, daughter of the 
Sun and Moon, thou speakest wisely and well ; for Adam 
learned how to be a worker together with God. 

Then were we silent for a season, for we thought of 
many strange and wondrous things that we had seen in 
our Garden. 

And I said, Keturah. 

And she said, Speak on, my lord. 

And I said, Adam got one other good thing out of his 
Garden. 

And she said, What was that, my lord ? 

And I said, It was the most Enjoyable, yet the most 
Troublesome. He was hard put to it to live With it, and 
he found he could not live Without it. 

And she said, Thou speakest in riddles, Surely my lord 
doth not mean the serpent? 

And this she said, but she knew what I meant. 



THE WEEDS IN MY GARDEN 93 

And I spake thus, The fairest flower that bloomed in 
Eden was no other than Eve. For all the trouble she 
made, she was a blessing to Adam. 

And Keturah said nothing, and I made as if I had 
nothing more to say; but she knew I would say more. 
Therefore was she silent. 

And I said, Keturah, I have a choice blossom from that 
same vine. Neither I nor Adam have failed wholly in the 
care of our Gardens. 



LIFE IN SPIDERTOWN 



NOW I rose very early in the morning, before the sun 
had risen, and the Dews of the Night were yet upon 
the Earth. And I walked in my garden, and behold, the 
Web of a Spider. And I stood and looked thereon. And 
the Web of the Spider was half a cubit long, and half a 
cubit broad. And the spider had builded it close to the 
ground. And it shone white in the early morning. And 
nigh unto it was another Web like unto it, and nigh unto 
the second a third. Yea, I looked about me, and all about 
in my Garden were there webs of spiders, all of them 
white in the mist, on every hill of potatoes a spider web, 
and each a Silken Tent. And I lifted one of them with 
my staff, and looked at it Closely, and behold, nothing 
that I had ever seen was half so delicate. And the little 
drops of Dew upon it were like unto Pearls. 

And I thought as I looked around me how here, within 
the space of my Garden, were Ten Thousand homes of 
Spiders, in each one of which dwelt a Spider and his 
Wife, and in some of them certain Little Spiders. And in 
my neighbor's Garden another Ten Thousand, even a 
City or a Nation in each Garden. And I wondered by 

94 



LIFE IN SPIDERTOWN 95 

what Name my Garden was called in the Language of 
Spiders. For I remembered that to them this was not 
the Garden of a Man, but a Kingdom of the Spiders, and 
that they doubtless believed that for them God created 
the garden, yea, and the Earth, and the Sun and the 
Stars. 

And I wondered what they thought of Me, and of my 
Walking abroad among their Tents, and lifting one of 
them to its Destruction with my Staff, and Rending many 
others with my Foot. And I wondered whether they 
thought me Good or Bad, and whether they called me God 
or the Devil. 

Yea, I though of all the Theologies of Man, and I said, 
Are they not the Intellectual Spider Webs of those who 
live close to the Ground, and whose filmy tents endure 
but for a Night? 

And I remembered the word of a Wise man, who said, 
Go to the Ant, thou sluggard ; consider her ways and be 
wise. And I said, Go to the Spider, thou Theologian; 
consider her ways, and be humble. 

There is nothing that the hand of man hath made that 
is half so wonderful as the Web of the Spider. And there 
is nothing that Man createth that can endure much longer 
than a Spider web. For a Day and a Thousand Years are 
alike to the God who made both Man and the Spider. 

And I thought of all these things, yea, and of many 
more. And I picked my way among the Spider Webs, 
and was careful not to walk upon them. For how can I 
tell whether the same God that made both me and the 
Spider loveth not the Spider as much as He loveth me? 



96 THE PARABLES OF SAFED THE SAGE 

And this, I said to myself, that whatever the Spiders 
think about God and Me and my Neighbor, and by what- 
ever names they call, our Respective Potato Patches, 
whether in the Language of Spiders they call mine Ger- 
mania and my neighbor's Britannia, or my neighbor's 
Austria and mine Italia, I hope they live in peace, each in 
its own Potato Patch which they think to be a nation, and 
that they are far more wise and not so sinful and stupid 
as men. 

For whether theologies be true or false, it is better to 
love than hate. 

This truth was revealed to me anew when I considered 
the Spider. 



THE HOLLYHOCK SEEDS 



NOW there came to me an Handmaiden of the Lord, 
even one of the mothers of Israel, and thus she said 
unto me, Art thou Saf ed ? 

And I answered, After this name am I called, but what 
man knoweth his own Name till God shall give him a neAV 
name at the Resurrection of the Just ? 

And she said, Why do men call thee the Sage ? 

And I answered, In the City of the Blind there was 
found a man with one eye, and him they made king. 

And she said, Didst thou have pity on the Hollyhocks 
that grew by the concrete walk, and save them from the 
Weeds? 

And I answered, As the Merciful God hath dealt with 
my soul, so have I striven to do with the Hollyhocks. 

And she said, Thou are indeed a wise man, and a good. 
Now, behold, I also love Hollyhocks, and for many years 
have I nourished them in my Garden. Yea, and I have 
much seed that I have saved. There are White Holly- 
hocks that are like the Snow; and Red Hollyhocks that 
are like the Dawn ; and Yellow Hollyhocks that are like 
Gold; and Pink Hollyhocks that are like the cheeks of 

97 



98 THE PARABLES OF SAFED THE SAGE 

Keturah when God first gave her to thee; and Single 
Hollyhocks and Double Hollyhocks, and about Fifty- 
Seven Varieties. And I have saved twice as many of 
them as I could plant. And the Half thereof are for thee. 

Now when I heard this my heart was glad ; and I made 
broad the place for the planting thereof. Yea, and who- 
ever sendeth me precious seed of the Hollyhock, for it will 
I make room. 

And I thanked this mother in Israel, and I prayed to 
my God on her behalf that she may still bring forth Blos- 
soms higher and higher on the stalk of her long and 
beautiful life, till the topmost flower of all may Blossom 
in the Garden of God. 

And, as I planted the seed she gave to me, I prayed 
this prayer to God for her. 



THE OTHER GOOD TURN 



NOW there was a day when I had need of Exercise, 
and my Garden had need of Hoeing; wherefore I 
said to my Soul that I would Hoe in my Garden. But 
while I was yet coming, behold a man stood at my door 
and he rang the Bell. And the Damsel opened the door, 
and he stood without, and called for me. And I went to 
the door, and he spake thus : 

Behold, I have lived in this town for Twenty Years, 
and I am an upright man, and have many virtues. Yet 
the Lord hath dealt very sore with me. For I have no 
Money and I have no work. 

And I asked him, What canst thou do ? 

And he answered, Anything. 

And I had heard that answer before, and knew that it 
meant that he could do Nothing well. 

And I said to him, I have no work for thee, save to Hoe 
in my Garden. If thou wilt work there until Noon, and 
dig out the Weeds, I will give thee a Dollar. 

And he took the hoe that was in my hand, and he went 
to what he called Work. 

99 



100 THE PARABLES OF SAFED THE SAGE 

And from then until Noon he was in my Garden, and 
he trod on my "Watermelon vines, and he dug up my 
Radishes, and he injured my Peas and Beans. And the 
Weeds he hurt not perceptibly. And 'ere the Clock 
struck Twelve he stood on my threshold, asking for his 
Dollar. And I gave it to him, albeit he had not earned 
it, and he went his way. 

Now a year and a day thereafter he came again. And 
I knew him not. And he said, 

Dost thou not know me ? I am the man who a year ago 
did come to thee in thy great Need, and did Hoe for 
thee, and make thy Garden beautiful. Yea, and I never 
saw a Garden as weedy as thine until I made it Lovely. 
And now behold, one good turn deserveth another. I am 
in Temporary Financial Embarassment, and I have come 
to thee assured in my heart that for the Good I did thee 
then, thou wilt now lend to me a Ten Dollar Bill till the 
day after tomorrow. 

And I bowed before him in admiration of his Assur- 
ance. And I said, 

I cannot afford to lend thee Ten Dollars. 

And he asked : 

Hast thou any doubt about the return of it? 

And I answered him, Nay. For I had no doubt at all. 
I knew in my heart that if I loaned him Ten I should 
never see the money again. 

And he asked, 

Why then dost thou not loan it to me? 

And I answered, 



THE OTHER GOOD TURN 101 

If having given the one dollar which thou didst not 
earn places me under obligation now to give thee Ten, 
how much should I owe thee a year and a day hence? 
Verily thou wouldst then expect of me an Hundred. 

And he was wroth, and went his way reviling me. 

But I think he is of a Forgiving spirit ; and some day 
he will come again and seek to Accommodate me by hav- 
ing me assist him. 

For I have known many like unto him. 

And I marvel when I think how many men there be 
who could count the benefits they have received for bene- 
fits bestowed. Yea, I verily think there are men who 
imagine that God is under great obligation to them for 
the Privilege they have Vouchsafed to Him of forgiving 
them their sins, and saving their Dirty Little Souls. 






THE BATH TUB AT THE INN 



NOW, it came to pass as I journeyed that I lighted on 
a certain place where there was an Inn, and I en- 
tered and Lodged there. And in the Inn was a Bath Tub, 
and but one; and every Saturday night each Guest did 
bathe himself or herself therein. And I beheld them as 
they Furtively Hastened through the halls, clad in Bath- 
robes or in something less, and they were not Naked, yet 
did they hasten as if ashamed. 

And in time it came about that I Obtained Entrance 
into the Bath Room, just as Another Man was Leaving 
it. And he wore a Ragged Bathrobe, and a Smile that 
said, Behold, I am clean. 

And I entered, and the Water still was Running from 
the Tub, and Gurgling as it ran. 

And I looked within the Tub, and behold, there was on 
the inside of it a Ridge, which marked the Level of the 
Water at the time the last Occupant had been within. 
And I liked it not. 

Then I communed with my soul, and my soul said to 
me, Doest thou well to be Wroth with the man who last 
Bathed? Behold the Ridge around the tub. Is it not 

102 



THE BATH TUB AT THE INN 103 

evidence that he hath had a bath ? Yea, doth it not show 
that he Needed one ? Yea, furthermore, doth it not prove 
that the bath hath "Wrought Well for him, and that by 
the Measure of whatever thou seest on the Sides of the 
Tub, and what hath run down the pipe, the man is Clean- 
er than when he entered ? Lovest thou not truth, and the 
evidence thereof 1 And is not Cleanliness a Virtue where- 
in thou shouldst Kejoice? 

And I said, Yea, I rejoice in the Truth, but the Evi- 
dence giveth me no Pleasure; and I Love Virtue, and 
Cleanliness is a virtue, yet I would that he had given me 
other proof of his Cleanliness, or given me none at all. 

Then I considered within myself, and I meditated thus : 
Behold, there are many men who practice their virtues in 
such form that they make virtue unlovely. Yea, there be 
those who serve the Lord as if the devil were in them. 



THE LARGE PEARL RING 



NOW I traveled upon a Railway Train, and Keturah 
went with me. And the Train ended one stage of 
our Journey, and we waited for another, and we Hung- 
ered. And we entered a Restaurant, which is being in- 
terpreted a Khan, which joined hard unto the Station. 
And a Damsel brought us Food, and we ate thereof, and 
I left a Tip beside my Plate for the Damsel. And she 
gave me a Check whereon was written, Pay the Cashier. 
And as we went out I paid the Cashier. 

Now the Cashier sat upon a Throne, with an Iron Cage 
about her and the Cash, and I poked the money through 
a little "Window. And she took the money with her right 
hand, and she pushed out my Change with her left hand. 
And she did it quickly, for she had learned well to make 
change rapidly ere the Trains went. And the left hand 
had on its little finger Three Pearls, or what were intend- 
ed to Look Like Pearls. And the size of each of the 
Pearls or Near-Pearls was not so great as the size of a 
Frosted Sixteen Candle Power Incandescent Light. And 
I looked at her hand that bore the Ring, and her hand 
was Soiled. And I saw that her hand was soiled, and 
Keturah, she saw it Before I Did. 

104 



THE LARGE PEARL RING 105 

And I spake to Keturah, and I said, Did 'st thou behold 
the Ring with the Pearls? Believe me, That was Some 
Ring. 

And Keturah said, Yea, I saw it. 

And I said, Did'st thou notice that the hand was not 
clean ? 

And Keturah said, Yea, I noticed that. It is not an 
easy place to keep one's hands clean, for there is much 
Smoke there, yea, and Soot also. But the hands of the 
Damsel that brought us the food, they were clean. 

And I said, If the hands that bear food are clean, I 
care little for the hands that make the change. But I 
should not have noticed the Soiled Hands of the Cashier 
if she had not worn a Very Large Ring. 

And I considered the lessons thereof. And I remem- 
bered what a very wise man had said of a Jewel of Gold 
in a Swine's Snout. 



THE UNOPENED WINDOW 



NOW there came to me a man with a Sad Counte- 
nance, and he said, O Safed, thy words of wisdom 
are known to all men, and thy virtue exceedeth even thy 
wisdom ; may thy days be long among men. 

And I heard him, and I answered not; for the man 
who cometh unto me with a Little Too Much Taffy and 
Then Some hath an Axe to Grind. And I said, If thou 
hast Business, say on ; for Time Passeth. 

And he said, O Safed, I have a neighbor, and he is an 
Undesirable Citizen. His house joineth hard unto mine 
upon the North, and he annoyeth me continually. He and 
his Kids keep up a continual Rough House, which great- 
ly annoyeth us. And he hath Daughters, and there come 
to see them Young Men, who sit with them on the Porch 
till Any Old Time at Night, and they Laugh and Raise 
Ned so that sleep is driven from our eyes, and slumber 
from our eyelids. Yea, and when we look that way we 
see things that Vex our Righteous Souls. 

And I said, Are they Immoral ? If so thou mayest call 
the Police. 

106 



THE UNOPENED WINDOW 107 

And he said, They are not what you might call Immor- 
al, for my wife hath watched them much through the 
Window; she hath a place where she sitteth and watch- 
eth while she Darneth Stockings ; yet are they noisy ; yea, 
they are the Limit. 

And I said unto him, How many windows hath thy 
house? 

And he said, My house standeth Foursquare, and it 
hath windows toward the North, the South, the East and 
the West. 

And I said unto him, Move thou over to the South side 
of thy House ; thou shalt have more Sleep and Sunshine. 
Yea, moreover, speak thou unto thy wife that she Darn 
her Stockings where she hath less to see. 

And he went away angry. 

But I counted it among my Good Deeds. 

And I meditated thereon, and I considered that there 
are many people who live on the North Side of their own 
Souls ; yea, they curse God that they hear the racket and 
are sad ; and behold, their South Windows are unopened. 



THE FLOWER IN THE OBSTRUCTION 



NOW it came to pass in one of my journeys that I 
lodged with a Friend who in former years did 
Preach, but now hath Retired, and liveth in a goodly 
Little City wherein is a College, and where in former 
years he Preached. And he hath bought for himself an 
House, situated where two streets cross, and he liveth 
Happily and Quietly and Usefully. Even so may the 
Lord grant me Grace and Cash wherewith to live when 
I come to his time of life. 

Now, the boys of the city pass his home on their way to 
School, and divers of them turn the Corner there; and 
having learned from a certain teacher called Euclid, 
whose theories no man disputeth because few Understand 
Them, that the Square on the Hypothenuse is equal to 
the Square upon the other two sides, and having some 
doubt about it, they create an Hypothenuse across the 
Lawn of my friend, in order to find if it be not true that 
the Hypothenuse is shorter than the way around the Cor- 
ner. 

Now, the Neighbors of my Friend spake unto him, say- 
ing: 

108 



THE FLOWER IN THE OBSTRUCTION 109 

Those Infernal Boys will Ruin thy Lawn. Go to, Make 
a Stumbling Block in their Path, and make it of Barb 
Wire, that they entangle themselves therein and be 
pricked with the Goads, and cease to ruin thy front Yard. 

So my Friend built a Stumbling Block and placed it 
in their Path, but of Barb Wire builded he not. He 
built it of stone, and rilled it in with earth, and he dug it, 
and dunged it, and therein he planted flowers. 

And the boys thereafter kept to the walk, and they 
looked at the flowers and admired them, and they spake: 

Lo, the Good Man hath planted a Flower Bed in his 
Lawn; now Shall we Keep on the Walk lest we injure it ; 
and to walk around it were more Bother than to Keep in 
the Great Highway. 

And the Boys never suspected that it was for their 
sake he planted the Flowers, nor that the Flowers were 
planted to Beautify the Bunker. 

Now, when I beheld this, I said to my soul: 

Behold, my Friend is not only a person of kind heart, 
but also a Man of Great Wisdom. How easily he might 
have wakened the resentment of the Youthful Soul, 
whereas he hath gladdened the heart of the neighborhood, 
saved his Lawn and kept the good will of the Boys. 

Then I thought of the many Stumbling Blocks which 
good men have erected in the Path of the Sinful, and how 
often they have become futile, for I have beheld Youth 
Vaulting gaily over the Barbed Wire, and landing with 
his Heels deep in the turf on the farther side. And I 
said to my soul : 



110 THE PARABLES OF SAFED THE SAGE 

Whenever it is necessary to erect a hurdle across the 
path of the wicked or the thoughtless, I will seek out a 
Flower and plant thereon. And the same shall be reck- 
oned unto me for Eighteousness as well as practical Good 
Sense. 



THE ICE THAT MELTED 



NOW it came to pass in the Summer that I visited in 
a Town wherein I had a friend who was a Lawyer ; 
and he had an Office that fronted on the Court House 
Square. And the weather was so hot the Sidewalks Siz- 
zled ; and his office was Not Very Cool. And he bought 
a Water Cooler, and paid for the same Six Dollars. And 
he ordered the Ice-man to leave every morning Twenty- 
five Pounds of Ice on the Sidewalk that ran hard by his 
office. And he put the Ice in the Water Cooler, and he 
poured Water thereon, and he Drank, and he whistled a 
tune, the name whereof was, Never Mind the Weather. 
And he thrust his head out of the Window and he called 
to his friends in the Court House, even to the Sheriff and 
the Surveyor and the Recorder, and he said, Come across ; 
the Drinks are on me ! And they came across and drank 
of his Ice Water, which was better than some of them 
sometimes drank. 

Now, the Iceman came early in the morning, and the 
Lawyer came late. And the sun beat down on the Side- 
walk Something Fierce. And it beat upon his Ice, and it 
Melted. And after the second or the third morning the 

111 



112 THE PARABLES OF SAFED THE SAGE 

lump of Ice was very small, and the Wet Spot about it 
was exceeding large. 

And it came to pass that I visited him on the first day 
of October, when the quarterly bills for Ice came round ; 
and the Iceman had charged him for Twenty-five Pounds 
of Ice every day from the first day of July till the thir- 
tieth day of September, and the Price of Ice was High. 
And he was of a sad countenance; for about Twenty 
Pounds of that Twenty-five had melted on the Sidewalk. 

And he rang up the Iceman and complained. And he 
said, Behold, Thou gavest me Short "Weight. 

And the Iceman answered and said, Go thou to grass ! 
If thou tarriest in thy bed in the morning and lettest the 
ice melt on thy front walk, We should worry. Get thou 
busy and send in the Cash, for we can use it in our busi- 
ness. 

And he knew that the Iceman was right. 

And he sent in the money, and he was sad. 

And I said to myself, The man who letteth the years go 
by in hope of joys to come, and who getteth not busy and 
useth the joys that God sendeth to him with the dawn of 
every day, and who cometh to his latter years with little 
to comfort him and with many regrets, he is like unto the 
man who riseth late in summer, and in the autumn must 
pay for a Wet Spot on the Sidewalk. 



TWO SHADOWS 



NOW it came to pass in the Summer that I sojourned 
by the side of a Little Lake that lay to the westward 
of my habitation. And there was an evening when I 
watched the Sun as it was going down, and behold it was 
Glorious. And as I turned away from it and entered my 
dwelling, behold mine own Shadow went before me, and 
climbed up upon the inner wall of the Room as I entered. 
And as I went forward, lo, another Shadow rose upon 
the wall, and it was like unto the first, even mine own 
Shadow. And I marveled much that one man should 
cast Two Shadows. And the Thing Seemed Passing 
Strange. 

But the reason was this, that the Sun as it was going 
down shone on the water and was like unto another Sun, 
and cast a Shadow even brighter and taller than the Sun 
in the heavens. For the Sun in the heavens was partly 
obscured by the trees; but the Sun in the lake cast its 
reflected rays under the branches and shone clearly. And 
so it was that in the sight of men the reflected Sun was 
brighter than the real Sun, and cast the greater and tall- 
er Shadow. 

113 



114 THE PARABLES OF SAFED THE SAGE 

And I thought within my soul how to men the vision 
of the Most High God is often obscured; and how there 
be men who must see the exceeding brightness of His 
Person by reflected light. And I prayed to my God that 
such light of Him as I may reflect might reveal to such 
men as behold it the true glory of the Sun of Kighteous- 
ness. 



CONCERNING LEMONS 



NOW it came to pass that I journeyed to a far country- 
called California. And there I found a friend, a 
citizen of that country, and he had an Automobile, and he 
took me on swift journeys to show me Orange Groves and 
Grape Fruit Orchards, and Vineyards, and many trees 
whereon grew Prunes. 

And it came to pass that I heard often of a town called 
Corona, and always this was said of it: 

Corona, Home of the Lemon. 

Now on a day we passed through Corona, and the day 
was warm and dusty, and I spake to my friends : 

Behold, this is Corona, the Home of the Lemon. Let 
us tarry, I pray thee, for of lemons are concocted a cun- 
ning drink that maketh glad the heart of man and doth 
not intoxicate. 

So we rode through the street, and we came to a place 
where it was written : 

Ice Cream, Soda Water, Sundaes and All Kinds of 
Soft Drinks. 

And we alighted from the chariot, and went in, and be- 
hold, a man in a White Apron. 

115 



116 THE PARABLES OF SAFED THE SAGE 

And I was about to speak to him, but my friend spake : 

Be thou silent, and keep thy money in thine own pock- 
et ; I am paying for this. 

And I kept silent willingly, for those are pleasant 
words to hear. 

Then spake my friend to the man in the white apron : 
Hasten thee, lad, and prepare for us four good, ice-cold 
lemonades, and make them Good, and make them Speed- 

iiy. 

And the man in the White Apron heard him as one who 
understood not what he said. 

Then spake my friend again: 

This friend of mine is from Chicago, and these other 
friends are from Boston, and they think they know what 
good lemonade is; but I want them to have a drink of 
lemonade that is Lemonade. Hasten thee, and prepare 
it for them. 

Then spake the man in the White Apron : 

We have no Lemonade. 

And the man of California grew red in the face, and he 
said: What? No lemonade in Corona, the home of the 
lemon ? 

And the man in the white apron answered, We have 
Soda Water, Root Beer, Ginger Ale, lee Cream, but no 
lemonade. 

Then spake my friend : 

Hasten now to the grocery store, and buy a half-dozen 
good lemons, and quickly make us Lemonade. 

And the man in the White Apron hastened, and re- 
turned, and said : 



CONCERNING LEMONS 117 

There isn't a lemon in town. They ship them all to 
Chicago and Boston. 

And when I heard this I meditated, and I said: 

I have suffered for lack of good Fish at the Seashore, 
and Fresh Eggs in the Country, when both were abund- 
ant in Town, and now I behold that the place to buy good 
Lemonade is where they do not raise Lemons. 

And as I meditated, I remembered that in many other 
things the shoemaker's wife goeth unshod. 

Now my business is commending goodness for export, 
even as that of Corona is the production of lemons. And 
I said within myself: Glad will I be if the demand for 
goodness ever shall grow like the demand for lemons 
from Corona, and I will seek to supply all the demand. 
Yet will I seek to keep some of it on hand ; for my peril 
is even as the peril of the man in the white apron. Yea, 
he shall be to me as a Parable, lest having preached to 
others I should become a Castaway. 

So I resolved that with all my exportation of goodness, 
I would keep some for Home Consumption. 



WHEN IT IS HOT IN CALIFORNIA 



NOW it came to pass in my journeyings, that I came 
to a country called California, and every man who 
met me Greeted me with a Smile, and asked : 

How dost thou like our Climate ? 

And not one among them all waited for my Answer 
but proceeded to tell me that California hath the most 
Wonderful Climate in the World. 

Now it fell on a day that the Weather was Hot, and 
the Thermometer stood at 103 in the shade, and on that 
day I met a Californian, and he looked me in the eye as 
calmly as though it were only 70, and asked me: 

In terrible weather like this, art thou not glad that 
thou canst be in California, with its Wonderful Climate, 
and not burning up with heat in the Hot, Wicked, Windy 
City of Chicago? 

And I was too amazed for Speech, but that did not 
matter. He did all the Talking Necessary, telling me 
again of the Wonderful Climate of California. 

And all the while I was thinking, and there rose be- 
fore my mind a vision of Chicago, with a place called 
Lincoln Park, where the cool Lake Winds play, and where 

118 



WHEN IT IS HOT IN CALIFORNIA 119 

one may sit with his Coat off, and drink soda water, and 
lie down on the Grass. And I smiled within myself at 
the Californian, and said within myself, that he had spok- 
en Foolishly. 

But again I thought within myself, and I reasoned 
thus: 

Lo, this man hath come to California to live, and to 
him it is the Best Place on earth. Wherefore, when con- 
ditions arise that are Unpleasant in California, he Com- 
forteth himself by thinking that they must be much 
Worse Elsewhere. So he thanketh God still that he liveth 
in California, making even his Discomforts the occasion 
of New Thankfulness. 

And when I thought of these things, I Honored him. 

Wherefore, when I returned to mine own city, I re- 
solved that I would do likewise, and meet every condi- 
tion that was adverse with the assurance that it was much 
worse everywhere else. And I find that it worketh well 
in making me Content with my own lot. 

But, although I am a man of courage, I have not yet 
found grace to say to a man of California who chanceth 
to be in mine own city in a day when the weather is be- 
low zero, Art not thou glad on such a day that thou art 
not in California ? 



THE SHIP THAT SUNK 



NOW I stood on the bank of a River whereon had been 
builded the Great City wherein I dwell. And an- 
other Dweller in the City spake to me, and said, 

Behold how great a City we have Builded. Walk ye 
round Chicago ; consider well her palaces. Mark ye well 
her skyscrapers, that ye may tell it to the generation fol- 
lowing, and to such as dwell in other and lesser towns. 
Yea, behold the River. For it was once a Sluggish Creek, 
and We have digged us a great Canal, and have turned 
the River upstream, so that it Emptieth not into the Lake 
but into the Gulf, a Thousand Miles away. 

And I looked, and behold, a Great Ship, and it was 
laden with Passengers. And many hundreds went 
aboard, and they Laughed, and they were Happy. For 
it was an Holiday to them, and they were intending to 
Sail afar, and enjoy an Happy Day together. 

And the multitude of them gathered upon the one side 
of the Ship away from Shore where we Stood, and behold 
the Ship Turned Over at the Dock, and more than a 
Thousand Men and Women, yea, and Little Children also, 
were Drowned. 

120 



THE SHIP THAT SUNK 121 

And all the power of all the Mighty Men of the Great 
City was Futile in its efforts to save them. Howbeit, 
many were saved, yet were many hundreds lost. 

Yea, and the power of men that had turned the River 
so that it flowed upstream made a Current the more swift 
to sweep them down to death. 

And one spake to me as I stood, and thus said he, 

Where is now thy God, who sendeth down to swift 
death the merry company of those who were happy but 
an hour ago ? Is this the will of God, or is it only fate 1 
Or doth God love to mock the Puny Power of Man? 

And I said to him, 

Alas, I am but a man, and very frail and ignorant. 
Very little do I know of the mysteries of God. Yet thus 
it seemeth to me that God hath willed that overloaded 
structures should give way, and overloaded Ships should 
sink, and ships too slenderly built, and unequally laden 
should overturn ; that so man shall be compelled, by all 
the Hazards which God can invent, to do His work not 
only Greatly but well, and all the time with Confidence 
Chastened with Humility. 

Yet of this am I sure, that God mocketh not the enter- 
prise of man, but delighteth in every Conquest of man 
over Nature. For our God is not a God of wrath, neither 
doth He hate what His hands have made, but like as a 
Father pitieth his children, so the Lord pitieth them that 
fear Him. Yea, He pitieth them that fear Him not. 

Now these things I spake, not because I understood all 
mysteries, but only because, unwise as I am and foolish, 



122 THE PARABLES OF SAFED THE SAGE 

there are others yet more unwise. And so I spake with 
such Wisdom as I have. And where my little Wisdom 
f aileth, as it f aileth soon, then and always do I walk by 
faith. 

And my heart was heavy with sorrow for the children 
of men. 



THE FOUR SHEEP 



NOW as I passed by I beheld and lo, there were four 
sheep in a pen outside the shop of a Butcher. And 
I stopped and listened, and I thought I heard them speak 
one to another. 

And one of the Sheep, an ancient Ram, said to his com- 
panions, Behold, we are all to be killed and eaten, and it 
mattereth little by whom. I care not whether my Tough 
Old Carcass should be Consumed by a Millionaire or a 
Miller ; nor care I for my wool, whether it shall be woven 
into garments for the Prince or the Pauper. Moreover, 
I perceive that both the flesh and the wool are divided 
and scattered, so that the flesh of one sheep may feed 
Several Families, or the wool thereof be woven with other 
wool into Many and Diverse Garments. But with the 
Hide it is not so ; but it continueth, and is not merged 
with other Leather. Come, therefore, and choose ye, one 
by one. To what purpose will ye devote your Skins? 

And one of the Sheep answered and said, Let my skin 
be made into a Genuine Seal or Morocco Purse, and there- 
in let some rich man carry Money. 

And all the other Sheep said, Bah. 

123 



124 THE PARABLES OF SAFED THE SAGE 

And the second said, Let my skin be made into a pair 
of Genuine White Kid Gloves, of Nineteen Buttons each, 
and let them adorn the hands and arms of Beauty. 

And all the other Sheep said, Bah. 

And the third said, Let my skin be made into a College 
Diploma, and inscribed in Latin, and sent abroad into 
the World of Scholarship. 

And two of the Sheep were silent, but the Ancient Ram 
said, Bah. 

Then turned the other three to the Ancient Ram, and 
said, Thou hast said Bah to every one of us. What wilt 
thou do with thy tough old Hide? 

And the Ancient Ram answered, 

Why should a Sheep give his skin to Carry Money 
when the Nations are using Money only to burn it up in 
War? And why should he give his hide for gloves to 
adorn the arms of Beauty, that be only to twine around 
the Neck of the Soldier? And why should there be any 
College Diplomas so long as the world erects its Monu- 
ments not to its Scholars but its Slayers ? Behold, of my 
skin shall they make a Drum-head, and the armies of the 
world shall march to the pounding of it. 

And all the sheep were silent. 

Then asked I the Butcher, 

What shall be done with the Leather from the backs 
of these four sheep ? 



THE FOUR SHEEP 125 

And he answered, Of these skins will they make Cow- 
hide wherewith to Cushion Automobiles; yea, and all 
four of them are not sufficient for One Taxi. 

And as I passed on I meditated on the Ambitions of 
Sheep and of Men. 



HOW THINGS ARE MADE INTO SOMETHING 
ELSE 



NOW 1 entered into a Great Factory, and I asked of 
my friend,, the Manager, What dost thou Manu- 
facture ? 

And he answered, We spin not, nor gather into barny ; 
we Manufacture nothing; yet we Create almost every- 
thing. 

And I said to him, Kiddle me no riddles, but speak 
plainly. 

And he said, The business of this Factory is Making 
things into Something Else. 

And he showed me a Bale of Cotton Cloth which had 
been woven in the South, and one piece thereof he dyed 
Black, and put it through a Crinkling Machine, and 
thereof made he Crape. And another piece he dyed 
Brown, and put it through a Glossing machine that made 
one side Shiny, and thereof made he Linen ; and another 
piece he Mercerized, and thereof made he Silk; and an- 
other piece he Waterproofed, and thereof made he Oil- 
cloth ; and another piece loaded he with Starch and Clay, 
and thereof made he Leather ; and of another piece made 

126 



HOW THINGS ARE MADE INTO SOMETHING ELSE 127 

the Khaki for the uniforms of soldiers; and another 
piece made he thick and hard and stiff for the making of 
Corsets. 

And I said to him, Dost thou of another piece make 
Copper Roofing, and of another Concrete Sidewalk, and 
of another Armor Plate? 

And he said, Nay, we have not gotten to that as yet. 
But every piece of Cloth that comes to us we endeavor 
to Fit Better to its Special Use. 

And I said, Is it not a Cheat? 

And he said, Nay. If in certain places Cotton can be 
given a Silk Finish, and made to take the place of Silk, 
is it not well that it should be so ? And if the Lining of a 
shoe or the Outside of a Valise can be made of Cotton 
Cloth and Clay, and thereby Leather be Saved, is it not 
better so ? If men take our Cloth and call it leather, the 
sin be upon their own hands. As for us, it is enough that 
in the place where it is to serve, we make it better for 
its use. 

And I spake unto him, saying, 

I also run a Factory, not unlike to thine. For therein 
do I manufacture no Men, yet do I seek to take such as 
come to me and Fit them the better, each for his Place 
in Life. 

And he said, It is even so. But not even this mill of 
mine can make Real Leather out of Cotton! Even so 
cannot thy Church make a Bad man Good. 

And I spake unto him, Nay, thou speakest unwisely. 
For the Grace of God can change the skin of the Ethio- 



128 THE PARABLES OP SAPED THE SAGE 

pian and the Spots of the Leopard ; and I have seen in my 
Factory more wonderful things than all thou hast shown 
to me this day. Wonderful is thy Factory, but mine is 
more so, yea, and more useful. 

And I returned to mine Own Job, well content with 
that which God hath given to me; for He divideth to 
every man his work, and I would rather work on Man- 
hood as Raw Material than on Cotton Cloth. 

Yet am I the wiser man for what I have seen done to 
Cotton Cloth in the Factory of my Friend. 



THE BOSTON STATUARY 



NOW I walked the streets of a Great City, even Bos- 
ton. And I met a friend who walked with me to 
the Public Library, and he spake thus, 

Which is the greater, he who hath a book of his Own 
Writing on the shelves of the Public Library, or he whose 
Statue in Bronze is erected in a park? 

And I answered not. 

And he said, He whose book is read hath Greater Hon- 
or than he whose Statue is erected in the Park; for he 
giveth his own thoughts to men and they think them after 
him. Whereas, he whose statue is erected in the park 
may be an Orator or Chief of Police, the founder of an 
University or the Captain of a Football Team. Never- 
theless, there be many books that men do not read. 
Whereas, of Monuments erected in the Park must all men 
take note. 

And he said, Come with me and let us look on the 
faces of some of these Great Men in Bronze. 

And I walked abroad with him. And he said, 

Here in the Public Garden is the Newest Statue in 
Boston, and it is of Wendell Philips, friend of the Black 

129 



130 THE PARABLES OF SAFED THE SAGE 

Man. And nigh unto it is another of William Ellery 
Charming, who pleaded the Cause of the Slave. And not 
far away is William Lloyd Garrison, who would not Com- 
promise, and would not Equivocate, and would not be 
Silent, and Would be Heard. And he, too, was the friend 
of the Black Man. Behold, how Boston honoreth these 
men, and all of them were friends of the Slave. And 
now all men behold their faces, and are inspired by their 
ideals. While as for books, how many there be in the 
Public Library which no man readeth. Wherefore, let 
me erect the Statues of a city and I care not who may 
write her Books and I pressed him, and said, Let us go 
farther ; for I am interested. 

And hard by the Common he showed me the Statue of 
Abraham Lincoln, liberating the Black Man. And on the 
one side of the Common he showed me where St. Gaudens 
had wrought in living bronze Robert Gould Shaw on 
horseback, leading his Regiment of black troops. Yea, 
he led me across the Common to the Monument in Mem- 
ory of the Heroes of the Boston Massacre, and at the top 
of the Monument was the name of Crispus Attucks, and 
he was a Black Man. 

And while we gazed thereon there came to us another 
friend, and he said, 

Lo, I have Three Dollars that I long to blow in. Come 
with me and see The Birth of a Nation. 

And the place was hard by, even over against the Mon- 
ument of the Black Man, Crispus Attucks. 



THE BOSTON STATUARY 131 

And we entered, and the lights were turned off, and 
behold there appeared Pictures on the Screen. And from 
the Pictures I learned how little Wendell Philips and 
William Lloyd Garrison knew. Yea, I learned that the 
real Saviours of the Nation were the Ku-Klux-Klan, who 
rode about in the Night with Masks and other Disguises, 
and who whipped Women and Shot Men. 

And I said in my haste, All Historians are Liars. Let 
me make the movies for a city and I care not who may 
erect the statues. 

For I had listened, and the music which the people 
applauded was Dixie, and the people whom they cheered 
were the Ku-Klux-Klan. 

But I remembered the word of the Lord by his Prophet, 
Behold, Pharoah, King of Egypt, is a Big Noise. For 
many of the prophets lighted up their messages with 
slang. 

Yea, and I have seen the Mummy of Pharaoh in a Mu- 
seum, and have stubbed my toe over broken images of his 
greatness in the land where he Ruled. 

And I reflected that after the film hath gone up in 
smoke, Philips and Channing and Shaw and Garrison and 
Lincoln still will be there. 



THE MUSKMELON RINDS 



NOW the Summer waxed late as the Year cometh 
toward Autumn, and the mornings were Cool. 
Wherefore I rose up in the morning and took of the Wood 
that was in that place, and I kindled a Fire upon the 
Hearth, even a fire of Logs. And it burned brightly, and 
I rejoiced before it, and I said, Aha, am I not warm? 

And we sat down to Breakfast, I and Keturah, the wife 
of my bosom. And Keturah set before me the half of a 
Canteloupe, and the other half thereof did she eat. And 
after we had eaten I took the Rinds and cast them into 
the fire. For so is the best way of Garbage Disposal, and 
it inviteth not Skunks, such as come out of the woods to 
eat of the Rinds which are thrown out. And so it was 
when I threw the Rinds into the fire that they fell side 
by side, and lay upon the burning logs. And the fire 
came through, and lapped their sides, as if they had been 
two Pots with Victuals cooking therein. And one of them 
began to shrivel and be consumed, and the other filled 
with Juice and did Simmer and Sing. 

And Keturah spake unto me, and said, Safed, my lord. 

And I answered, Trouble me not, for I am meditating. 

132 



THE MUSKMELON RINDS 133 

-And she said, Whereon dost thou meditate? 


And I said, Oh, Keturah, behold the Melon Kinds, how 

one of them is shriveled with the fire, yea already is an 

Hole burned through it, while the Other is Half Full of 

Juice, and singeth merrily. Even so is Life ; and a like 

experience doth thus Oppositely Affect Two Lives that 

are side by side. "Why is it thus? And why hath the 

Lord so dealt with us ? For He hath mercy on whom He 

will have mercy, and whom He will He hardeneth. 

And my wife Keturah looked also at the Melon Rinds 
in the Fire and she said, Oh, Safed, thou art a very Wise 
Man, yet in some things are thou very simple. Under- 
standest not thou what thou seest? and callest thou in 
question the Whole Scheme of things because thou seest 
not all that happeneth before thine eyes? 

And I said to her, What seest thou more than I see ? 

And Keturah answered, The Melon that is soon shriv- 
eled is thy Melon, for thou didst dig it out closer to the 
rind than I. Yea, in one place thy Spoon did jab so near 
the Bottom that there the fire came quickly through, and 
the little Juice thou didst leave therein ran out. But I 
ate not down where the Melon is Green and Hard, but 
took only that which was good, wherefore did I eat less 
and enjoy more. Yea, and therefore was there more 
Juice left in my melon which appeared when the Rind 
got Hot ; and when it Boiled, then it Sang, yea, and the 
Hotter the Fire became the more it Sang. So doth the 
Lord have mercy on whom He will have mercy, yea, on 



134 THE PARABLES OF SAFED THE SAGE 

everyone who maketh not a fool of himself. And such, 
my lord, is life. 

And I meditated much on her saying, for truly she is 
a Wise Woman. But as I sat before the Fire and did 
meditate, she spake to me. 

Come now, and meditate no longer. For the Maid hath 
gone to Visit her Sister and see the New Baby, and I 
have the work to do. Wherefore come thou and wipe the 
Dishes. 

And I went and Wiped the Dishes for her, although 
Dish Wiping is a Job that a man liketh not. But as I 
wiped the dishes I meditated that there is much Philoso- 
phy in the world that is of Less Value than the Dishwip- 
ing of Keturah. 



THE PARACHUTE 



NOW as I journeyed I came to a City called Boston, 
and I walked on a Great Highway called Beacon 
Street, hard by the Common. And as I walked I saw men 
Looking Upward, and I also Looked. And behold, a man 
Descending out of the Sky. And I looked to see him de- 
scend upon the Common, and he descended not there, 
but the wind blew him afar, and at a great height so that 
he flew over the Dome of the State House, which is the 
Gilded Hub of the Universe. And my heart was dis- 
turbed within me, and I said, Lo, this Aviator hath de- 
scended out of an Aeroplane, and he intended to come 
down upon the Common, where there is Grass, and the 
wind hath carried him far beyond, and he will alight 
where there are Houses, and where streets are Narrow, 
and it may be he will be Dashed to Pieces. And the Para- 
chute wherewith he descended Swelled out in the Wind, 
and sailed afar. And many people ran to be at the spot 
where he should descend. And I ran not, for I like not 
to look on men when they are dashed to pieces. 

But he Descended in safety, albeit in a Narrow Street, 
and among people about three thousand in number, and 

135 



136 THE PARABLES OF SAFED THE SAGE 

nothing harmed him, for the Parachute held Safely and 
he did not dash his foot against the Stones of Granite 
wherewith the street is paved. 

Now when I heard that he descended in safety I was 
glad, for it is good to know that a man may be master of 
the Elements, and may conquer the Air as he may con- 
quer Land and Sea. Yet was I glad that I was not in his 
place. 

And I meditated about many things. I thought of the 
Peril which a man assumeth who elevateth himself above 
his fellow men; and how readily it may hap that his 
elevation above them shall be the Occasion whereby he 
Loses Fellowship with them. For behold how Feeble we 
all were, and Powerless to Help, while he hung there 
above the head of the Multitude, and we could do noth- 
ing, yea, though he had fallen at our very feet. Even so 
there be souls so Isolate that, though they have their habi- 
tation amid the throng, yet sail they apart from the 
concerns of others men's lives, and they are seen in peril, 
but no man can help. 

And I prayed my God that while He shall keep ray 
head up, and my face ever toward the sky, yet may I be 
kept in Sympathy with Common Life, and with my feet 
planted firmly on the Earth. And though this be not so 
Conspicuous, yet may it be Safer. 

Yea, and I remembered that in some sort God hath 
lifted me above many of the conditions of life of the mul- 
titude, so that I toil not with my hands in brick or mor- 
tar, nor in the tilling of the soil ; and I prayed Him for 
a humble heart. 



THE PARACHUTE 137 

Yea, and I considered again how Perilous is the Situ- 
ation of him who, either by his own Vanity or the will 
of God, is elevated in any wise above his fellows. And 
I prayed to my God that in so far as the office of the Min- 
istry Constitutes such an Elevation, God would guard 
me therein, that I might not use it for vain Flights of 
Oratory, nor Sail in my Preaching above the Heads of 
the People, neither seek to make them Admire my Agil- 
ity, but rather that He would Bear me up, lest I dash 
my foot against a Stone, and provide for me a Good Place 
to Alight. 

All this I considered when I beheld the man in the 
Parachute, and I resolved that I would write these medi- 
tations for the benefit of such of my Brethren as might 
be in need thereof. 



THE FAITH OF THE BANK OF MOUNTMELLICK 



NOW, it came to pass in ancient times when one 
might Travel on the Sea without fear of being 
blown up by Submarines, that I entered into a Ship, and 
visited a land called England. And as the days of my 
return drew nigh, I Sailed across the narrow channel to 
a country called Ireland. And after some days in that 
country, the time drew near when I should return to 
my own country. So I went to a Money Changer and 
said unto him : 

Take now my Letter of Credit, and mark thereon a 
Certain Sum, and give me sufficient Silver and Gold of 
Great Britain to furnish me till I sail, and some money 
of mine own country, even gold for the man in the Cus- 
tom House, and bills for my Railway Ticket, that I re- 
turn not to my own country a beggar. 

And he took my Letter of Credit, and did even as I 
said. 

Now it came to pass that as I counted the Money of 
mine own Country, I found therein a bill for One Dollar, 
being a Greenback, the like whereof I see Every Day in 
mine own country, though Never as Many of them as I 

138 



THE FAITH OF THE BANK OF MOUNTMELLICK 139 

could wish. And this bill had stamped upon the back of 
it, with a rubber stamp and purple ink, as if it had been 
the personal check of some Irish grocer unknown in Dub- 
lin or Queenstown these words : 

Payment Guaranteed 

by the 
Bank of Mountmellick. 
Now I had never heard of Mountmellick, and I Judged 
it to be no Great City, and I thought with scorn that the 
bank in that town had done an Unnecessary Thing in 
Guaranteeing the Promise of the United States of Amer- 
ica to pay to the Bearer One Silver Dollar. I said to my- 
self in irony : 

The Bank of Mountmellick hath done a Presumptuous 
thing, and soiled with its dirty rubber stamp a bill to 
which it hath imparted no added value. 

Then I considered how it might have been that such 
a bill should have gotten to Mountmellick. And I saw a 
vision of an Irish girl working in some Kitchen in mine 
own land, sending home to her mother her first spare 
dollar. And I considered that when she went to spend 
it for food or calico it might well have been that no 
merchant of Mountmellick would accept it from her until 
the Bank of Mountmellick endorsed it. 

Now when I thought of these things, I said: 

Behold, it appeareth to me that the Bank of Mount- 
mellick hath Maintained the Credit of the United States 
of America to the Extent of One Dollar, and hath done 
well. 



140 THE PARABLES OF SAFED THE SAGE 

Then I considered, and I remembered that God had en- 
trusted to men certain Talents and other Elements of 
Trust, whose value among men is even as the credit of 
a bank or a Nation, and that there are places where men 
do not know God any better than the Old Woman in 
Ireland knew the Currency of the United States. And 
I asked myself, Is it not possible that there may be plac- 
es in which the goodness of God is at a Discount, or even 
Not Negotiable, save as some man by his life doth make 
men believe in goodness, both their own and God's? 

And I pondered much of this, and I remembered cer- 
tain words of Holy Writ that testify that even such are 
the Responsibilities of men who Profess the Love of God. 
And I resolved that if I might, I would seek, to the full 
amount of my Character and Ability, to make God's 
goodness go among men at its Full Face Value. 

And I did not spend the dollar with the stamp of the 
Bank of Mountmellick, though often I had need, but kept 
it as a Parable, for I said to myself, I am seeking in my 
small way to be to God as a rubber stamp on one small 
promise of the Almighty. 



THE TROLLEY CAR AND ITS MASTER 



NOW it was the Sabbath Day, and I had Preached 
once, and taught a Bible Class, and Attended a 
Committee Meeting, and done Divers Deeds beside, and 
I had yet to Preach again, and to perform Sundry Other 
Duties, and there came to me a Call from the Hospital, 
saying, Come Hither, and see a Man who is Sick, and who 
Inquireth for thee. 

And the Street which runneth Hard by my Church is 
a Broad Highway, in the middle of which run Two Iron 
Tracks, and on the Tracks run swift Chariots, whereon 
any man may ride who hath the price. And the Chariots 
run nigh unto the Hospital. So I walked into the Street 
where another street Crosseth it, and I hailed a Chariot 
as it approached, and the driver of the Chariot made the 
Chariot to stand still, and I climbed upon the Rear Plat- 
form, where stood the Master of the Chariot. And he 
wore Blue Clothes with Brass Buttons. And above his 
head was a Sign which saith in the Language of Chicago, 

Pay as you enter, 
but which in the speech of them that dwell in Boston 
saith, 

141 



142 THE PARABLES OF SAFED THE SAGE 

Prepayment Car. 

So I searched in my Bag, and I found Five Cents, and I 
gave them unto the Master of the Chariot, and he rang 
One Bell once, and another Bell rang he twice. And the 
meaning of the ringing of the two bells was this, that the 
bell which he Rang Twice signified unto the Driver of 
the Chariot, who stood on the Front end of the same, 
that the Passenger was on board, and the Chariot might 
proceed ; and the Bell that he rang once signified that the 
Passenger had Separated himself from his Fare, and that, 
the Fare was in Possession of the Master of the Chariot, 
who must later Account for the same to his Masters. For 
though he be Master of the Chariot, yet are there other 
Masters greater than he, who Boss him, and the City. 

Now I had ridden from time to time on this same Char- 
iot, so that the Master thereof and I knew each other's 
faces. And as I was paying my Fare. I thought to speak 
to him Pleasantly, and thus I said, 

You and I have to work on Sunday. 

Now the Master of the Chariot heard what I said, and 
he smiled at me as one who smileth Pleasantly and In- 
dulgently at an Innocent Delusion, and he answered in 
the Speech of the Emerald Isle, 

Yiss, Av ye Loike to call it Wurrrrk that ye do. 

And he continued to smile as I passed on, and I entered 
into the Chariot and took my seat. 

And his smile was not the smile of one that mocketh, 
neither of him that hateth, but of him that knoweth and 
discerneth in his own mind what is wurrrrk and what 



THE TROLLEY CAR AND ITS MASTER 143 

seemeth to the man who toileth to be wurrrrk but is not. 
For I think he liketh me, and he hath often showed the 
same when I have ridden with him. Only he thought me 
mistaken when I spake of my Job as Work. 

And I said to myself, Lo, why should this wild Irish- 
man sit in judgment on my toil, and esteem it as though I 
labored not at all? Five years ago he came to this land 
and had no money, and he Carried the Hod, yea, and per- 
haps wrote back to Ireland, saying, 

Pat, Come on Over. This is a Fine Country with Good 
Wages, and no work. I toil not, but only carry a Hod of 
Brick up a Long Ladder, and the man at the top doeth 
all the Work. 

Yet now he rideth all day in his chariot, and hath 
nothing to do save ring his two Bells, and Pay over his 
money at night. 

And I thought within myself, How little he knoweth of 
the Burdens I carry, or the hours I toil, so that I esteem 
his task Light compared with mine own, and could say 
to him, 

Yes, if you like to call it work that you do. 

Then I remembered that he, perhaps, had other bur- 
dens than I could see. And I wondered if he Sent Money 
home to an old Mother in Ireland, or if he had a Sick 
Child, or if he struggled against some inward sorrow that 
made his toil heavy. And I thought of the labors and 
travails of all my Fellow Men, and I said in my heart that 
I would judge none of them with respect to the Work he 
did or the Burden he carried, for God hath appointed 



144 THE PARABLES OF SAFED THE SAGE 

to every man his labor. And I purposed in my heart 
that, though my own Work were hard, yet would I seek 
to bear the burdens of others, and so fulfill the Law of 
Christ. 

Yet now and then, when my toil is heavy, and I labor 
long into the Night, I smile within myself, and say to 
myself in the speech of Ireland, 

Yiss, av ye loike to call it wurrrrk that ye do. 



THE RUBBEE DAM 



NOW, in the city where I dwell is a Dentist, and I en- 
tered his Shop, and sat me down in a Chair, and I 
said to the Dentist, I have a Tooth. 

And he looked in my Month, and he said, It is a Bad 
One, but I will Endeavor to Fill it. 

So he closed my Mouth with a Rubber Dam. 

And as he did so, he Made Jokes about the Dam ; but 1 
cared not for them, for they were not Very Good Jokes, 
and I knew that he Made Them to all his customers. 
Moreover, I had other things to think of. And he fast- 
ened the Eubber Dam around my Neck with a Stay, 
which had a Clamp at either end, and the two Clamps 
held to the two ends of the Eubber Dam. 

And one of the Clamps laid hold of One Hair of my 
Beard. 

Now what the Dentist did to my Tooth was a Plenty, 
and it caused me Sore Pain ; but I bore it without mur- 
mur, and I could not Talk. But all the Time I felt the 
Pain of the One Hair that the Clamp was pulling. 

And after he had Worked at my Tooth for the space of 
Two Hours, he let me go. 

145 



146 THE PARABLES OF SAFED THE SAGE 

And he removed the Rubber Dam, and he noticed that 
he had been pulling One Hair of my Beard. 

And he said, I discovered that I have been Pulling 
One Hair, but I Think Thou canst not have noticed it in 
the Greater Pain of the Tooth. For I did bore to the 
Depth of the Fourth Part of the Length of thy Backbone. 

And I answered, Thou hast Another Think Coming. I 
noticed it Every Second, and it Hurt. 

And he Laughed, and he Mocked me, and he said, Next 
Time I will try to Hurt thee enough with my Drill so 
thou shalt not notice so Small a Thing. 

And I said to him, That is where thou dost get left. 
For next time I go to another Dentist. Moreover, thou 
art Dead Wrong about the Philosophy of the Whole Busi- 
ness. For consciousness of the Greater Pain doth in No 
Wise Obliterate the lesser, and ofttimes it doth Aggra- 
vate it. 

And he said, That is a New One on me. 

And I said, I bore the Greater Pain without Complaint, 
because I had Faith to Believe that it was Doing Good; 
but I Complained about the Lesser Pain because I knew 

that it was needless. 

And I meditated much about this ; for Often I have 
seen Men, yea, and ofttimes Women, who bear with Great 
Fortitude the Pain that must be, even the Pain which 
their Faith teaches them is for the Best, but they Eesent 
it when they Suffer the Small Annoyances that are Need- 
less and Valueless. Yea, though the sorrows of Life Bore 
to the Depth of their heart, they bear it Bravely behind 



THE RUBBER DAM 147 

Life's Rubber Dam; but they Kick against the Pricks of 
Life's Needless Pains. 

And I said in my heart that I would seek so far as in 
me lay to avoid the Pulling of the single Hair that adds 
to the Life of my Brother Man a Needless Pain. 



THE RIDE IN THE COUNTRY 



NOW, there was a Convention in a Town named 
Lonelyville, and the sons of the prophets who live 
nigh unto that place wrote me a letter, saying, 

Come, O Safed, and Address our Convention. Many 
Great Men will speak there, and many Willing Listeners 
will hear. And the Little Church wherein we meet will 
not be Sufficient to Hold the Multitude that attend. And 
at Noon the Wives of the Farmers shall feed thee on 
Chicken Pie, and Cake that will melt in thy Mouth. 

So I went to the Convention. 

An hundred miles I rode upon the Train, and Ten 
Miles had I yet to go. And the city to which the Train 
took me and where it left me was called Junctionville. 

So I left the Train at Junctionville and the Train also 
left me. And I walked through the streets of Junction- 
ville. And one said unto me, What seek ye? And he 
said, Behold yonder is a Garage. 

And I said to him, Nay, for I would find a Livery 
Stable. 

And he said, If thou dost insist, behold there is one in 
the next street, but few people go there now. 

148 



THE RIDE IN THE COUNTRY 149 

But I said to my soul, Behold the Town to which I go 
is a Little Town, and the people are Farmers. If they see 
me riding up in an Automobile they will think me a man 
of Pride, coming from the City to Cut a Swell. And I 
will ride in a Buggy, even as they ride. For I would be 
all things to all men. Nevertheless at home I call a Taxi. 

So I sought the Livery Stable, and I said to the son of 
Jehu, Harness me a Swift Horse to a Comfortable Char- 
iot, for I would drive to Lonelyville and back. 

And he harnessed him. So I drove to Lonelyville. 

And once in the fourth part of every Mile I had to turn 
out for some Farmer to Honk past me with his Ford. 

And when I got to Lonelyville, behold the Horse shed 
was so full of Automobiles I had to hitch my Horse Oat- 
side. The Program Committee met me at the door and 
said, Thou are barely on time. We had begun to fear lest 
thou should not have come. "Wherefore earnest thou not 
in an Automobile ? 

And they said behind my back, He is a Slow Old Duf- 
fer,and Much behind the Times. 

Now, when I had delivered my Speech, and eaten of the 
Chicken Pie, behold I drove back again Ten Miles to 
Junctionville, and all the way the Fords kept Crowding 
me into the Ditch and Honking past me. 

And I said to my soul, There is such a thing as Possess- 
ing Too Much Humility. 

And I swore by my Beard and the Sword of the 
Prophet that the next time I went to Deliver an address 
in some Little Country Village I would go in a Car with 
Six Cylinders. 



THE HORSE AND THE TRICYCLE 



NOW I have a friend who is older than I, and he did 
his Thinking nigh on to Fifty Years Ago, and if he 
hath had a New Think Since, it was by Accident. And he 
wrote a Book wherein he Denounced what he Thought 
were the Errors of the Day, but which were the Errors of 
the Day Before Yesterday, but he knew it not. And some 
of them had Ceased to be Errors ; and that also had Es- 
caped his Notice. And I was reading his Book as I rode 
upon the Train, and I meditated what I should say to him 
about it. 

Now the Train Stopped in a Little City, and I saw be- 
side the Platform an old Horse Harnessed to a Milk 
Wagon, and the Engines Whanged and Hooted, but he 
moved not. And the Automobiles Honked and he stood 
as one who said, I Should Worry, and he worried not. 
And a Motorcycle chugged past, and he Slept at the 
Switch. But a little girl came by on a Tricycle, and he 
Reared, and Pitched, and was sore afraid, so that he well 
nigh brake the Harness, and it required Two Men to hold 
him till the Little Girl got past. 

And when I saw this, I knew what to write to my 
friend, and I wrote to him, and said, 

150 



THE HORSE AND THE TRICYCLE 151 

Oh, my friend, well beloved, the Errors at which thou 
art Affrighted ceased to scare other Men about the time 
most Horses Stopped Shying at the Locomotive, and some 
of them Ceased to be discussed about the time Other 
Horses became Wise to the Gasoline Buggy. The only 
reason thou art alarmed at these Errors is that they are 
almost as Bearded with Moss as; thou art. Oh, my friend, 
thou art a Back Number, even an Old Phogy. Thou dost 
shy at a Tricycle, and behold, the rest of the world is 
wonted to the Locomotive and the Automobile, yea, and 
the Ford, also. 

And I knew not how my friend would love me for this 
Epistle, and I feared lest the Lesson might be lost on him. 
Therefore I was resolved to Profit by it Myself. And I 
prayed my God that if I must be Affrighted at anything 
it might not be at the things that already were gone by. 
And I resolved that having Learned to see some Errors 
which snort like Locomotives, and tear down the Pike like 
Automobiles, I would Endeavor to possess my Soul in 
Patience in the presence of Tricycles. Yea, I resolved in 
my Soul that I would learn to Stand without Hitching. 



THE MORTAL SINS 



NOW it came to pass that a great Comet flamed forth 
in the sky, and the Astronomers were busy, and 
many of the Humble Folk were afraid. And some said 
it portented War, and some Famine, but no war nor 
famine came then. Yea, the great War came some years 
later, and with it came no Comet. But it was a Fearsome 
sight, and men looked upon it with Awe. And the As- 
tronomers declared that on a certain night the Earth 
would pass through the Tail of the Comet. And there 
were those who declared that we should never know it, 
and there were others who said we should be knocked in- 
to a Cocked Hat ; and yet others said we should be killed 
by Poisonous Gas, such as the Germans fling at their 
Enemies. 

Now afore that time, I journeyed into a land called 
Kentucky, and I lighted on a certain House, and I tar- 
ried there all night. And the people with whom I so- 
journed asked of me concerning the Comet, and what the 
Wise Men were saying about it, and on what Night it 
would meet the Earth, and whether I thought we should 
all be killed. 

152 



THE MORTAL StNS 153 

And the while we talked, an Ancient Woman sat in the 
chimney corner and smoked her Cob Pipe, and spat into 
the open fire. And after all the others had spoken, she 
filled her Pipe anew, and lighted it with a Coal from the 
open hearth, and she patted the coal with her toughened 
forefinger, and she puffed thrice till the Pipe was Smok- 
ing Up, and then she removed her pipe, and thus she 
spake : 

Wall, I don't keer ef it hits the yarth or ef it don't. I 
ain't af eared to meet my God, no matter when He comes. 
Fur I hain't never played Flinch nor Rode Straddle. 

Thus spake she, and was silent. 

And all listened to her with respect. 

Yea, in comparison of her we all felt Great Sinners. 

She had avoided what to her were the Two Mortal Sins. 

Now I never have played Flinch, but I am told that it 
is a Harmless Game, with Little either to Commend or 
Condemn it, but that some Young People play it with no 
Evil Effect on themselves or anyone. And albeit I am 
Old Enough to remember the Time when all Women who 
rode on Horses rode on one side, yet have I seen Modest 
Women riding astride. And hence I had not Classified 
Mortal Sins as this Ancient Woman did. Yet as I re- 
flected I considered how many people there were like her, 
who count as Mortal Sins those which they have never 
been Tempted to Commit, and are ready to meet their 
God in peace by reason of their supposed virtues. 

And I sometimes wonder how they really will feel at 
the Dread Day of Judgment, if they find that what they 



154 THE PARABLES OP SAFED THE SAGE 

Counted for Sins in Others were not sins at all, and that 
their own freedom from the same hath been reckoned no 
Virtue ; but that there have been other Faults of theirs 
which the Becording Angel did not fail to Notice. 

For all women and most men have in them something 
of the spirit of that Ancient Woman. And if the Comet 
should really come they might be Surprised. 



THE WORDS AND MUSIC 



NOW among the men whom I count my friends is a 
Great Musician. And he standeth before his Or- 
chestra, wherein are an hundred men, and he swingeth 
his arms and wieldeth a Baton, and they Play. And they 
play skillfully with a loud noise, even upon the Timbrel 
and the Harp, the Viol and the Pipe, and the Dulcimer 
and the Cornet and the Sackbut. And he said to me, 

Music is the Language of Heaven, and the true Lan- 
guage of Souls. Words are Clumsy Makeshifts; for a 
Word meaneth one thing to one man, and Another Thing 
to another man, and Nothing Whatever to another man, 
and many kinds of things to the Dictionary. Wherefore 
when thou Preachest, thy Trumpet giveth forth an Un- 
certain Sound. But with my trumpets it is not so. 

And I said, Thinkest thou that men hear Music with 
more United Minds than they hear a Sermon? 

And he said, Verily it is so. When thou preachest, one 
man thinketh of his Business, and another of the Price of 
Gasoline ; and one woman thinketh of her Bonnet and an- 
other of her Neighbor's Bonnet. There is no Unity. But 
with Music it is not so. Come to the Concert of my Or- 

155 



156 THE PARABLES OP SAPED THE SAGE 

chestra, and thou shalt see Four Thousand people All 
Swayed by One Common Impulse. There shalt thou be- 
hold True Harmony of Soul induced by Harmony of 
Sound. 

So I went and listened. And it was Enjoyable. 

And I stood in the door as men went out, and Women 
also, yea, seven women to one man, and I asked one and 
another, "What was thy thought while the Orchestra 
played ? 

And the first woman answered me, and said, My 
Thought was of Heaven, where only, as I believe, may one 
hear Sweeter Music. 

And a Maiden answered me, and said, My thought was, 
0, for a good Partner and a Slippery Floor ! 

And a man said, I thought it was a Beastly Bore. 

And a woman said, I thought the Soloist had Perfectly 
Lovely Hair, and I wondered how he made it Stand Out 
So. 

And a man said, I thought if each of those Hundred 
Musicians would Swap his Horn or Fiddle for a Gun, and 
go Down with Pershing, they could make Quite as much 
Noise, and maybe get Now and Then a Mexican. 

And when I heard these Comments, I did not feel so 
Badly about the Discordant Impressions of my Preach- 
ing. 



THE BRAKEMAN AND THE FARMER 



NOW I went on a Vacation ; and as I neared the Town 
whither I went, I stood upon the Platform of the 
Train with my Grip in my hand. And the Brakeman he 
also stood beside me as the train slowed down. And we 
passed a great Farm, as the Train entered the Town, and 
the Farmer sat on his Front Porch and watched the train 
go by. And the Brakeman spake concerning the Farmer, 
and he said, Behold that Lucky Guy hath little to do but 
to come in for his dinner about Half Past Eleven, and sit 
and watch this Train. He hath an hundred and three- 
score Acres, and Fat Cattle and many Swine, the price 
whereof riseth continually ; and at night he jumpeth into 
his Ford and goeth whithersoever he listeth ; and I ride 
on this Blessed Old Train from Smith's Junction to 
Metropolis one day, and from Metropolis to Smith's 
Junction the next ; and it getteth on my Nerve. I would 
I were a Farmer, yea, that Lucky Guy yonder, whom I 
observe every day at eleven-thirty sitting on his Front 
Porch and watching us go by. 

Then the Train came to a stop, and I alighted; and 
there came to meet me a lad in a Ford to take me to the 

157 



158 THE PARABLES OF SAFED THE SAGE 

Farm House where I was to lodge ; and behold, it was the 
house of the Farmer whom I had seen sitting upon his 
Front Porch. And I tarried with him seven days. 

And upon his front gate was a sign whereon was 
written : 

THIS PLACE FOR SAIL. 

And I spake with the Farmer concerning it. And I 
said, Are not thine Acres ample, and are not Prices 
Good ? Wherefore wouldest thou sell thy Farm, and go 
thou knowest not where? 

And he answered, I know Mighty Well where I would 
go. I would move to Smith's Junction and be a Brake- 
man on the Kailroad. 

But I spake to him, saying, Smith's Junction is a 
Smoky Place, and likewise is it Noisy. It hath little but 
Passing Trains, and the Grass therein Groweth not, nor 
are the Trees thereof Green by reason of the Smoke. 

But, he said, I have had enough of the Grass, and I am 
not as Nebuchadnezzar who fed thereon ; I would be even 
as that Insolent Brakeman who goeth by here every other 
day at eleven-thirty and back again on the next at four- 
ten. He hath indeed a Soft Snap. When it raineth, he 
is not wet, and when it is Cold he suffereth not. He is not 
troubled by Weeds, and when he heareth of Hog Cholera 
he laugheth. And every month he Draweth Down Sixty- 
Five Perfectly Good Dollars wherewith he goeth to the 
Movies on the nights he spendeth at the end of his run 
away from his Home. 



THE BRAKEMAN AND THE FARMER 159 

And I meditated much of these things ; and I said in 
my heart that it was not well for every man thus to envy 
his neighbor ; and I thought it better that the Brakeman 
should stick to his Brake and the Farmer to his Farm; 
for God hath appointed to every man his work and to 
every man his burden, and to every man his joys. And 
the world hath few Soft Snaps to those who know the 
Business from the Inside. 



THE POTATOES 



NOW there came to the back door of the House where- 
in I dwell an Husbandman, and he said, I would 
fain sell to thee a Bushel of Potatoes. 

And I said unto him, Though I had the wealth of Dives 
might I purchase an Whole Bushel of Potatoes at one 
time at the Present Market Prices ? 

And he answered and said, Though a man were poor as 
Lazarus yet might he purchase a Bushel of Potatoes at 
the Price whereat I sell, for it is Much Below the Market. 

And he showed me the Potatoes, and behold they were 
very Large, and goodly to behold. 

And I called unto me Keturah, and she counted the 
Money in the Bag, and behold we had enough, and that 
was Just About All. 

And we bought a Bushel of Potatoes. 

Then were we Proud in our hearts, and highly exalted 
in spirit; neither had our neighbors Anything On Us 
though they ride in Automobiles . 

But when we removed the Top Row of Potatoes from 
the Basket, behold they that were below were so small we 
wist not whether they were Potatoes or Hickory Nuts; 

160 



THE POTATOES 181 

; ww- ■ ■-'Mwxv/ffmsrm. ~^M)>:f^ 

but when we ate them then we knew that they were not 
Hickory Nuts ; but whether they were Potatoes we knew 
not; for they were Too Small to leave any Taste in the 
Mouth. 

Then spake Keturah unto me, and she said, My lord. 

And I answered, Say on. 

And she said, Though we have lived long we learn 
slowly. 

And I answered, Thou speakest wisely At Times, and 
this is one of the Times. 

And she said, Hereafter will I learn that when the 
price is Small the Potatoes are like to be Smaller. 

And I spake unto her and said, Keturah, thou hast 
uttered a Profound Truth ; for men may not obtain any 
Good Thing in this life that Costeth them Nothing, save 
only Sunshine and the Grace of God ; and as for all the 
rest, as is the Cost in Labor, so is the Price thereof. 



THE PARK BY THE RAILWAY 



NOW I rode upon the railway, even upon a swift Ex- 
press Train. And I rose up very early in the Morn- 
ing, and behold, we were passing through a Little Town. 
And beside the Railway through the Town there ran a 
Street, and on one side of the street were there Houses. 
And the Houses were blackened by the Smoke of the 
train. And the land on the further side of the Street 
next the Railway was grown up to weeds. 

But in the midst of the Street I beheld a place where 
three or four houses which stood side by side had in front 
of them One Wide Lawn, that stretched from before the 
thresholds of the houses up to the very Car Wheels. And 
the same was green with grass and was smooth and well 
mown ; yea, and upon the borders of this Lawn were there 
beds of Flowers in bloom. 

And the Spirit of the Lord said unto me, Beholdest 
thou what these people have done ? For their homes must 
needs be here beside the Railway, where it is Smoky and 
unpleasant; yet have these wise and good people highly 
resolved not to sink to the level of their surroundings, but 
to make the same beautiful in so far as that may be done. 

162 



THE PARK BY THE RAILWAY 163 

And I considered how along beside every man's life 
doth run uncomfortable situations of contiguity, and be- 
side many some Whanging, Hooting Horror, so that no 
man liveth wholly as he would desire to live. And I 
prayed that God would put it into the hearts of men 
everywhere to grade and level and seed the same, and 
therein plant some flowers. 



THE CHANNEL LUNCHEON 



NOW it came to pass in the days before the Great 
War, while yet a man might make a Pilgrimage 
and not encounter a Bomb dropped on him from the 
Heavens above, or a Submarine in the Waters beneath, 
that I journeyed from a land named France and a Gray 
City called Paris, to a Land called Britannia, which at 
that time Ruled the Waves, and to a city called London. 
And part of the way I journeyed by Land till I came to 
a town called Calais, where I found a Ship awaiting me, 
and I sailed to a town called Dover. And there was with 
me a man whom I had met on my Journey, and we en- 
tered the Ship together. 

Now it was about Midday, and I hungered, and I said 
to my friend, Come, let us enter into the Cabin, where a 
Table is spread, and let us Eat. 

And my friend said to me, Not on thy life. Knowest 
thou not that this is the English Channel, and that the 
same hath a Surly Temper, and it Lieth in Wait for the 
man who hath had a Luncheon, and Taketh it Away from 
him? 

164 



THE CHANNEL LUNCHEON 165 

But I said unto him, Say not so. It may be the Chan- 
nel will be Good to-day ; and if not, we can but Lose what 
we have Gained . 

And he said, Have the French left thee any Money? 
Throw it not into the Channel; for Luncheon on these 
Ships costeth Two-and-Six, which is the same as Three 
Francs, and thou wilt need the same when thou comest 
to London. 

And I considered what he said, for the French had left 
me little Money, and the British Isles were waiting for 
That Little. For the English scorn us Americans because 
we love the Dollar; therefore do they gladly take our 
Dollars away from us, that they may change them to 
Shillings. And they think it a sin to love a Dollar, but 
a Great Virtue to love a Shilling. So I considered what 
my friend had said. Nevertheless I spake to him. 

Nay, my friend. I still have a few pieces of Gold, and 
I think I can spare enough Silver to pay Two-and-Six for 
a Luncheon, and another sixpence for the Garcon who 
shall serve me. And I will eat. 

He said, A Fool and his Luncheon are soon Parted. 

But I said, Even if I shall be Separated from my 
Luncheon after I have received it, yet will I bear it as 
best I may. Yea, and I think I shall be better so. For 
it is a strain upon the Muscles of a man to Strike at 
Nothing ; and it is Vexation of spirit to argue with a man 
who hath no Reason ; so also is it a Painful Thing to be 
Required to Contribute to the Atlantic when one hath 
Nought to Contribute. If I must pay tribute to Neptune, 
he shall find me Generous. 



166 THE PARABLES OF SAFED THE SAGE 

So I sought the Cabin, and I ate a Good Meal, and I 
paid Three Francs for the same, and the Half of a Franc 
gave I to the Garcon. And when I came on Deck the Chan- 
nel had on its Best Bib and Tucker, and that is Going 
Some. 

And I found my friend stretched out on a Bench, and 
he Eailed at me, and Mocked me, and said, Thou shalt 
pay well for thy Folly. Behold, if I am Sick, having 
eaten nothing, what shall it be to a Glutton like thee ? 

And I was minded to say unto him to hold his peace, 
but at that moment the Ship gave a Lurch, and he held 
his peace without my telling him to do so. Yea, and that 
was all he held. 

And now, on that voyage, which seemed unto him to be 
longer than it really was, he made many journeys to the 
side of the Ship, and back to the Bench. And each time 
he went he Hated me the more. And he looked his 
Hatred, and he spake not. 

For there is no hatred like that of a man who is Seasick, 
and who seeth another man "Well; yea, especially if he 
himself hath Boasted or Given advice. 

Now it came to pass that day that I suffered not at all. 
Yea, as God had given me Appetite and a Good Square 
Meal, so also did He give unto me Good Digestion. But 
my friend had none of these things. Yea, on that day was 
fulfilled the word that unto him that hath shall be given, 
and so it was given to me. But from him that had not 
was taken away even that which he had. 



THE CHANNEL LUNCHEON 167 

And I considered these things, and I said to my soul 
that I would Take such Blessings as God should send to 
me, and Use them as they Came. 



THE TRIANGLE IN FICTION 



NOW, I have a friend who spake to me, saying, 
Thou readest too much Philosophy and Theology 
and Science. It is not Good for thee. Read no more 
Heavy Literature for a season, but take a little Fiction 
for thy Stomach's sake. 

And I asked him, What shall I learn in Fiction? 

And he said, If thou shalt read the Latest thou shalt 
learn about the Mystery of the Triangle. 

And I said, I know about the Triangle in Geometry, 
but not in Fiction. And he spake to me a proverb, saying 
Two are Company, and Three are a Crowd. 

So I went to a Book Shop, and I bought one of the 
Latest. And the title thereof was We Three, and the 
name of the Writer was Governeur Morris. 

Now, the Triangle in this book had these three Angles. 
The Hero was a Bachelor, the Spoiled Only Son of Two 
Wealthy and Misguided Parents. And the Heroine was 
a Comely Young Married Woman, the Spoiled Only Wife 
of a Misguided, Hard Working Business Man. And the 
third Angle was the Husband of the Heroine, who Toiled 
hard to get for her Money to spend for things which she 

168 



THE TRIANGLE OF FICTION 169 

did not need, and who did not give her the Spanking 
which she did need. And all men knew the Hero, that 
he could not earn his Salt, but lived on the wealth of his 
Father; and they Despised him. And all Women knew 
the hero, that he was not a man whom a woman could 
safely trust, and they all thought him Too Cute for Any- 
thing. 

And the Hero and the Heroine came to the Husband 
and said to him, We love each other, and thee we love not. 
Now, therefore, give us a Writing of Divorcement and let 
us Marry and be Happy. 

And they knew that this was against the Laws of God 
and Man, yet cared they nothing save for what they 
called Love. 

So they said to him, Give us the freedom that belongeth 
to our Love, and go thou to the devil Any Old Way that 
pleaseth thee. 

And the Husband was Sore Grieved. For he Loved his 
Wife with a Great and Unselfish Love which she deserved 
not. 

And the Husband said, In one year I will do even as ye 
have asked of me if ye still ask it. Only speak not and 
write not to each other for Twelve Months. 

And they promised. 

And within the Twelve Months she had time for an- 
other Flirtation, with a Yale Student, and then her heart 
went no more after her lover, but what little was left of 
it (and there was Mighty Little of it to Start With) re- 
turned to her husband. 



170 THE PARABLES OF SAFED THE SAGE 

And within the same Twelve months the Hero had two 
Love Affairs, one of them Disgraceful, and he forgot the 
Heroine, and eared no more for her. 

And in the last chapter he met a Honsemaid, who was 
going to France to be a Red Cross Nurse, and he married 
her, and he said, I will even do something with my worth- 
less life ; I will go also and work for the Red Cross. 

And at the end of the book he Sailed on the Lusitania. 

And there the book closed. 

And when I had read the book I was not so sorry as I 
had been that the Lusitania went down. 



THE HARE PIE 



NOW, there was a Proverb which men spake often one 
to another, and sometimes I myself have used it on 
this wise: Wouldst thou make an Hare Pie? The way is 
this : First, catch the Hare. 

And the meaning of the Proverb was this, that with the 
Right Material and a Good Start, all the Rest was Easy. 
And I meditated much of this Proverb, and I Considered 
whether it were True; for many times I had seen Good 
Material Wasted, and Right Starts that afterward went 
Wrong. 

Now, I had never eaten Hare Pie. 

And it came to pass that a friend of mine went Hunt- 
ing, and he Shot, and he Slew an Hare. And he sent the 
Hare to me. And I gave it to the Cook, even to a Daugh- 
ter of the Sons of Erin, and I said, Make me an Hare Pie, 
for at last I have caught an Hare. 

And the Thing she made gave me an Ache of the Stom- 
ach, and Ptomaine Poisoning, and many things beside. 

And not long thereafter the Cook Gave Notice that she 
would Not Work Longer in a Place where she Could Only 

171 



172 THE PARABLES OF SAFED THE SAGE 

be Out Seven Nights and Two afternoons a Week. And 
she Quit. 

Now on the Evening after she had gone, Keturah, my 
wife, entered the Kitchen, and sought in the Ice Chest, 
that she might discover what we had for Supper. 

And on the Top Shelf she found a Little Chipped Beef. 
And on the Middle Shelf she found Some Rice. And on 
the Bottom Shelf she found Divers small dishes with a 
Little Something in Each. And Keturah took them, and 
she stirred them together in a Bowl, and she put in cer- 
tain Spices, and Raisins, and Figs, and divers other 
things, whereof she found One or Two Left Over, and she 
put it into the Oven and baked it. 

And when we sat down to the Table, we Gave Thanks to 
God that He still had left us food, and that we had many- 
things to be thankful for, even though we had no daugh- 
ter of Erin to cook for us. 

And I removed the Cover from the Dish, and I ate of 
what I found therein, and a part thereof I gave to 
Keturah. 

And behold, it was Delicious. 

And I spake to her and said, What is this Savory Dish ? 

And she said, It hath no name, but thou mayst call it 
Hare Pie. 

But there were no Hares therein, though there was 
Very Nearly Everything Else. 

And she spake thus to me, Safed, my dear and very 
foolish lord, I have heard thee say that the way to make 
an Hare Pie is first to catch thy Hare ; thou speakest after 



THE HARE PIE 173 

the manner of men, and thou speakest foolishly. The way 
to make an Hare Pie is, First, Catch thy Cook. 

And I caught Keturah. 

So I thanked God again that the Cook had gone, and 
that I still had Keturah. For there be few Cooks who can 
make so good Hare Pie with Hares as she can make with- 
out. 

And I reflected that some Proverbs are wise and some 
are stupid, and some of them are Lies. 



THE APPENDIX AND THE WART 



NOW among my Friends is a Famous Chirurgeon, and 
thus he spake to me : 

If thou canst behold the Flowing of Blood and not 
Faint, come with me, and I will show thee how I Operate. 

And I went with him to the Hospital, and he clad him- 
self in white raiment; likewise did I clothe myself in 
white. And he cleansed himself with Many Washings, 
and I did likewise. For the Modern Chirurgeon Counteth 
a great compliment to Godliness when he admitted that 
it is almost as good as Cleanliness ; albeit he knoweth well 
how good Godliness is ; yea, few men in Town know better 
than he how much it would diminish his work if all men 
were Godly. 

And they brought unto him a man Grievously Sick 
with an Appendix. 

And the Chirurgeon Cut It Out. 

And I stood for an whole Hour and beheld the while 
he did it. 

And in my heart I was thinking of the Sick Man, and I 
prayed God on his behalf, that he might recover, and also 
that he might be a good man. 

174 



THE APPENDIX AND THE WART 175 

And as the man lay naked, I beheld, and on the side of 
his belly was a great and ugly Wart. 

And the Chirurgeon finished his work, and sewed up 
the wound that he had made, and sat back while his As- 
sistants did swathe the man in Bandages. 

And he had not seen the Wart, though all the while it 
was before him. 

And I said, Doctor, Behold the Wart. 

And he answered and said, What Wart ? 

And I showed him. And I said, It is a Large one, and 
it must often Chafe. Yea, often must he hurt it when he 
Putteth on and off his Clothes. 

And the Chirurgeon heard me speak, and he knew that 
it was so, yet said he nothing. 

And I said, Doctor, Now, while he is unconscious, and 
can feel no Pain, Cut It Out, as thou dist cut out the Ap- 
pendix. 

And he said, Warts are rather Small Potatoes for me. 
My business is to cut out Appendixes rather than Warts. 

Yet because I urged him, he did as I desired. In his 
left hand he took his Forceps, and therewith he lifted the 
Wart as far as it would Stretch ; and with his right hand 
took he up his Scissors, and with them he made a deep 
and clean cut. And he cast the Wart away. Then with a 
Needle took he one Stitch, and he clapped a Small Plaster 
over the place. 

And all this did he in the half of a minute. Neither 
did it cost him much labor or skill. 

And I said to him, This man will thank thee for this. 



176 THE PARABLES OF SAFED THE SAGE 

And he laughed and said. He will not discover that it is 
gone for the space of Six Months ; then will he Boast that 
it went away after he had Rubbed it with a Pork Rind 
Stolen in the Dark of the Moon. 

And I answered, That may be, but what is that to thee ? 
The wart is gone. Yea, what if he testify that he was 
cured as to his Appendix by Christian Science, that is a 
matter for his own conscience, if so be he have one. 
Nevertheless, thou hast done thy duty. 

And he said If thou art pleased, I am. Nevertheless, I 
remove Appendixes, not Warts. 

And I said, Count it then that I did remove the Wart, 
and thou the Appendix. 

And he said, Let it be so. Thou mayest have the Wart. 

Now I thought within my heart how many men there 
are who have cut out of their Moral Life the Aching Ap- 
pendix of their Grosser Sins, who yet cling to the Warts 
of Harmful and Disagreeable Habits, and also to Minor 
Sins, and who are most Reluctant to Cut Them Out. And 
I prayed to God for them, and for myself. For I, also, 
am a man in whose life is no Appendix of Gross Sin. I 
Steal not, nor Murder, nor Commit Adultery. And I 
prayed God that I might Cut Out the Warts also. 



THE TREES AND THE TABLETS 



NOW, I was in the city of Boston and I found a 
church with a great Dome as high as Bunker Hill 
Monument, and with it a great Publishing House, and 1 
entered, and another man was with me, and they offered 
us a Book wherein it was said that to Mind there is no 
Pain, or Death or Sin. And the price thereof was Two 
Dollars and Eighteen Cents. 

And I spake to the man who sold the Books, saying, 
How is this? For we are told to buy the Truth and sell 
it not. 

And he said, We go that one better; for we buy the 
Truth in this book for Thirty Cents and sell it for Two 
Dollars and Eighteen Cents. 

And the man who was with me bought a Book, but I 
bought it not. 

And before the church is there a park, which Apper- 
taineth unto the church and belongeth unto it. And in 
the Park are trees. And the man who had bought the 
Book sat down under a tree and read the Book, which 
told him how he might never know Pain or Death. And 

177 



178 THE PARABLES OF SAFED THE SAGE 

the Tree was not flourishing, for it had an Error of 
Mortal Mind. So also had the other trees in the Park. 

And on every Tree was a Tablet. And I spake unto the 
man with the Book, and I said, ' ' Cease to read the Book 
and read what is printed upon the Tablet upon the 
Tree." 

And he closed the book, and he turned about. And he 
read what was written on the Tablet. And this was the 
superscription thereon : 



WARNING. 

COME NOT NIGH THIS TREE 

LEST YE DIE. 

AND LET NO BEAST EAT OF THE GRASS 

THAT GROWETH UNDERNEATH 

LEST HE PERISH WITH THEE. 

FOR THIS TREE HATH BEEN POISONED WITH 

DEADLY POISON, 

EVEN WITH ARSENATE OF LEAD, 

TO SAVE IT FROM THE GIPSY MOTH. 

YEA, AND FROM THE BROWN TAIL MOTH. 

WHEREFORE, BEWARE AND COME NOT NIGH 

THIS TREE. 



And the man was afraid, and he said, How terrible is 
this place. 



THE TREES AND THE TABLETS 179 

And I said unto him, Nay, be not afraid. What is 
Arsenate of Lead but an Error of Mortal Mind? Doth 
not the book in thy hand teach thee that Poison hath no 
effect if one Thinketh in his Heart that there is no 
Poison? 

But he moved away from the tree. 

And I spake yet farther unto him and I said, Should 
Errors like Gypsy Moth and Brown Tail Moth be fought 
with Carnal Weapons when Truth is so much Cheaper 
and More Effective ? 

And he answered, Truth is not so cheap as I thought 
it was. It costs Two Dollars and Eighteen Cents, and the 
worst of it is, I am not sure that it is Truth. 

And I answered, If thou hast learned this and it hath 
cost thee only Two Dollars and Eighteen Cents be glad 
that thou hast secured it so cheaply. It costeth some men 
more. 

And he said, What do they do with my Two Dollars 
and Eighteen Cents? Thirty Cents thereof they spend in 
buying another Book that they may sell to some other 
man as Ignorant as I was, and the residue, or a part 
thereof, they spend for Arsenate of Lead. 

And I said, What is that to thee? 

And he said, I feel like the Original Cost of this Book. 
Book. 



THE MARRIED FLIRTS 



NOW I was reading in the Daily Paper, and Keturah 
entered my Room. And she spake unto me saying, 
My lord. 

And I answered, Trouble me not, for I am reading the 
News. 

And she said, Understandest thou what thou readest? 

And I answered, Verily, I do not. For I was reading 
that a Married Man had been Flirting with the Wife of 
another man. 

And she answered, What is the mystery about that ? 

And I said, I understand neither the Why nor the How. 

And she said, I will show thee. It cometh to pass on 
this wise. There sitteth a man reading his paper, and 
there walketh past him in the Park or on the Trolley, a 
Comely Lady, and she droppeth her Kerchief, quite by 
Accident, even like this. 

And she walked past my chair, and her skirts brushed 
my knees so that I looked up. And behold, as she passed, 
there fluttered to the ground a Kerchief. And I picked it 
up, and passed it to her. And I said, Madame, permit 
me. 

180 



THE MARRIED FLIRTS 181 

And she said, That was very well done, Saf ed, my lord. 
And now thou must look about in the Car, and see that 
there is no other seat save beside thee, and so must thou 
Shove Along. 

And I did even so; and the Chair wherein I sat was 
wide, so that there was room for us both ; neither sat we 
Quite so Close as in the Trolley. 

And she said, Now must thou lend me thy Paper, and I 
must pretend to read it. 

And I did even as she said. 

Then she sat beside me, and read the paper, yea, and I 
read also. Nevertheless, in twenty minutes we had man- 
aged to talk of Browning, and Art, and the Weather, and 
our Souls, and the Sad Condition of Married Life, and 
had told each other Where we Lived, and had discovered 
a Concert which we were both to Attend. And I played 
the Game as Keturah Taught me. 

And she said, How dost thou like it, Saf ed ? 

And I answered, It is Lots of Fun. Let us do thus 
often. 

And she said, Safed, would it be half so much fun to 
Flirt with any Other Woman ? 

And I said, Oh, thou fairest and finest of all the Daugh- 
ters of Eve, if ever I desire to Flirt, may God send thee 
to me to Flirt with ; for with thee only would I thus be- 
have and not feel like a Condemned Fool. Whereas, when 
I flirt with thee, I feel like a Very Wise man. 

And Keturah said, Safed, my lord, I have something to 
say. 



182 THE PAEABLES OF SAFED THE SAGE 

And I said, Keturah, say on. 

And she said, Oh, Safed, my lord. Thou hast given 
good advice to many people. But nothing thou hast ever 
said to the sons and daughters of men is more important 
than this. Speak to the men and women who are married, 
who feel the Tug and Grind and Monotony of Daily Life, 
and who have Grown Commonplace to Each other. And 
say to them, Put on your Beautiful Garments now and 
then, and Flirt a Little with Each other. Yea, let not the 
Romance die out of your married life, lest ye weary of 
each other, and Satan set a snare for your feet. Say unto 
them that if they go at it aright, it is quite as much fun 
to flirt with each other as with other people, and much 
Safer. 

And I said, Keturah, thou hast spoken words of wis- 
dom; and it would be for the salvation of thousands of 
Fool Women and men who are Bigger Fools or Worse, if 
they heeded thy words. 

And I said unto Keturah that I would take the message 
which she whispered in my ear, and I would Proclaim it 
from the Housetops. 

Yea, and thus shall some of the Divorce Courts be com- 
pelled to Take a Vacation. 



THE MAN WHO SUSPECTED HIS NEIGHBOR 



NOW on a day there came to me a man who said, May 
I look in the Philosopher 's Stone ? 

And I led him within the house, and seated him where 
the Light of a Window might fall upon his Countenance, 
and I said, Sit down and tell me, Why dost thou wish to 
look in the Philosopher's Stone? 

And he said, My neighbor is reputed to be a good man, 
but I suspect he is a Bad man; people trust him with 
Money, and I suspect he misuseth it. And his neighbor 
next beyond hath a lovely Wife, who is even as a Peach, 
and I suspect that he visiteth her when her husband is 
away. And because I have caught him in none of these 
things, therefore would I look in the Philosopher 's Stone, 
and see if they be true. 

And I took the Philosopher 's Stone from the Table and 
I gave it to him, and I said, Be sure thou keep it This 
Side Up ; beware thou look not into the Other Side. 

And he looked long in the side of the Stone which I 
gave him Uppermost, and I looked into his face. And 
what he saw I knew was Nothing; but what I saw was 
What he Hoped to sec. 

183 



184 THE PARABLES OF SAFED THE SAGE 

And after a time he handed me back the Stone, and I 
held it in my hand the Same Side Up, that he might see 
How I Held It ; but into the Stone I looked not. 

And I asked him, What didst thou see ? 

And he said, I think I see that it is all just as I have 
Suspected. 

And I said, If thou hast seen what thou Camest to see, 
go thy Way. 

But he lingered. And he said to me, Although I think 
I have read the Philosopher's Stone aright, yet because I 
am in Another Line of Business and have little Familiar- 
ity with Philosopher 's Stones, look thou and tell me ; and 
if thou seest what I think I see, I will give thee a Talent 
of Silver. 

And I lifted the stone that was in mine Hand, and I 
turned it over. And I looked in the Other Side of the 
Stone and into his face, and he asked, Why dost thou not 
look in the same side of the Stone wherein I looked ? 

And I said, That side was for thee, and this for me. 

And I looked the second time, first into the Stone and 
then into his face. And he asked, What canst thou see in 
that side more than in the other? 

And I said, In this side I can see thy heart. 

And I looked the third time into the Stone and into his 
Face, and he was Uneasy. 

And I looked the Fourth time, and his countenance was 
Red. 

And I looked the Fifth time, and he asked of me, What 
was the side of the Stone into which I looked 1 



THE MAN WHO SUSPECTED HIS NEIGHBOR 185 

And I answered, That side is a Moral Mirror, which 
reflecteth back whatever is in a man 's own heart. 

And I looked the Sixth time, and his face was white 
like ashes. 

And I looked the Seventh time, long at the Stone, and 
longer in his face, and his Countenance fell, and he Trem- 
bled. 

And I was silent till he rose to go, and he went away 
and spake not a word. And the Silver he forgot to leave 
with me. 

For this have I often seen, that the Root of Suspicion 
is this, that a man suspecteth his Neighbor of doing what 
he himself would do in the like place. 

And the man thought that I had seen this in the Phil- 
osopher 's Stone ; but I had been looking in his heart. 



THE THIRD STICK 



NOW it came to pass in one of my journeys that I 
came into the midst of the Mountains in a region 
called Kentucky. And my Host was a mountaineer, Long 
and Lean and Lank. And I thought him Unlearned, but 
what time I was about to say to my soul, Behold I am a 
learned man, and this man of the Mountains is Ignorant, 
he opened his mouth, and he uttered some Quaint and 
Homely word which I Discovered to be a Word of Wis- 
dom. And at one time he thus spake. 

You can't build a fire out of two sticks. 

Now I had little experience of fires, and knew little of 
the number of sticks requisite unto the making thereof, 
but I perceived that he spake not of Fires but of Folks. 

Now about this time I beheld a Man and a Maid, and 
they loved each other Very Much, so that all their Friends 
Smiled. And it came to pass that they came to me to be 
married, and I married them. And He said of Her, She 
is all the world to me. And She said of Him, He is all 
the world to me. And they believed it, and Tried to Make 
it So. 

And it Did Not Work. 

186 



THE THIRD STICK 187 

For God hath not so made Human Life. 

And in time they Wearied of Each other, and of Hav- 
ing a Monopoly of Each other, and Being Compelled to 
be All the World to each other All the Time. 

Now it came to pass that just before they would have 
Separated, God sent them a little Child for their Own. 
And they said, We must love each other for the Sake of 
the Child. 

So was a Third Stick added to their Fire. 

Yea, about this time they began to Love God, and to 
seek out those among their Fellow men who had less than 
they ; and in loving God and Man they learned anew to 
love Each other. 

After this I beheld a Fool and his Money ; and of these 
Two sticks was there made no Fire, for the Fool had 
Money to Burn, and he and his Money were Soon Parted. 

And I thought often of the Mountaineer and his wise 
word. 

But as I pondered these things, I communed with God, 
and I said, And yet, my God, may there not be a Warm 
fire of God and the Soul, with no Third Stick ? 

And I opened my Bible, and there read, that this could 
not be ; for the commandment was of love to God and Man, 
and that the man who saith, I love God and Him alone, 
and loveth not his neighbor, is a Liar. So the Soul and 
its God have need of a Third Stick. 

Then said I, my God, and is it so with Thy Soul also ? 
And as I meditated, I said to my soul, Yea, I believe it is 
so with the Soul of God. For there is God underived, the 



188 THE PARABLES OF SAFED THE SAGE 

Creator of all, the Father everlasting ; and then there is 
God incarnate, seeking to making Himself Objective and 
thus becoming Flesh ; and these Two, even the Father and 
the Son, make not a Divine Completeness ; for God is also 
the Holy Ghost, answering back both to God and man in 
the sweet Influences of the Grace of God, and also in 
the intercessions of the prayers and lives of humanity. 

And when I thought of all these things, I thought much 
of the words of the Kentucky Mountaineer, for he was 
an Unlettered Man, but God had taught him Wisdom. 



THE UNRECKONED GIFT 



NOW I had a friend, and his wife was a friend of 
Keturah; and he was a man who always had Mis- 
fortunes. And he came to me and said, Loan me an Hun- 
dred Dollars, and I will give thee my Note; yea, and I 
will pay thee Usury at the rate of Six Percent. 

And I loaned him the Money, though I had need of it ; 
and he paid me neither the Hundred Dollars nor the 
Usury. Yea, it was not according to his Principle to pay 
the Interest, neither was it to his Interest to pay the 
Principal. But whenever he met me, he made many 
Promises and many Apologies; and when his wife met 
Keturah, she was Embarrassed. 

Now Christmas was approaching, and Keturah said, 
Let us Cancel that Note, and send it to them for Christ- 
mas. And I was Glad to Get Rid of it. 

So I brought the note, and I sat me down, and I took 
my Pen and Mine Ink Horn, and I made figures. 

And Keturah said, What doest thou, Safed, my lord? 

And I said, I am computing the Interest; for it hath 
been Seven Years since this Note was given, and the Hun- 
dred Dollars hath become Two Hundred, or thereabout ; 

189 



190 THE PARABLES OP SATED THE SAGE 

and I would fain discern how much of a Gift we are mak- 
ing. 

And Keturah said, Safed, I am ashamed of thee. Canst 
thou not do a Generous Deed without trying to Magnify 
it in thine own Imagination? Art thou not willing to 
give without Beckoning? Then thou knowest not the 
Real Joy of Giving. Yea, and thou reckonest wrongly. 
For what if thou shalt be able by computing and com- 
pounding Usury to make an Hundred Dollars into Two 
Hundred ; still is thy gift not increased thereby. What 
thou art giving is not the money thou once didst loan, for 
that is gone, and the Note is not worth money ; thou art 
giving Peace of Mind to thine unfortunate friend, and 
wiping the Blush of Confusion from the cheek of my 
friend. What that costeth us now is but a Scrap of Paper, 
but the value thereof cannot be reckoned in silver. 

Now when I heard these things, I was pricked in mine 
heart. And I said, my beloved, daughter of all the wis- 
est of the angels, thy soul is a soul of pure gold, and thy 
speech is the voice of wisdom. Behold, men have called 
thy Husband a Generous Man, but thou are far more gen- 
erous than I. For he who giveth and reckoneth hath still 
a Smirch of Stinginess in his Generosity ; but thou givest 
and reckonest not ; yea, and thus hast thou always given. 

And I remember these things, and I thought of the 
Good God, who giveth, and not according to measure. 
And I prayed, and I said, 0, my God, forgive the Parsi- 
mony of our Generosity. 



THE CHRISTMAS STOCKING 



LIFE is a long stocking. Some people say it is a black 
one; in truth it is striped. We cannot see to the 
bottom of it, nor reach our presents at a single snatch ; we 
must take them out one by one. 

Thank God for the length of the stocking and for the 
variety of its contents! Thank Him for the gifts that 
bulge out at the top — the big red apple and the candy 
bag — the commonplace mercies we have learned to expect. 
Thank Him for the providence that holds pleasures un- 
derneath for the sweetness of surprise. And thank Him 
yet again that we do not find all the presents we have 
marked on the Christmas list of our desires, but have 
something left for which to hang up our stockings next 
year. And when we have pulled out all the gifts we 
thought were there, thank God most of all for the bless- 
ings hidden away in the toe, the choicest and best of all 
the secrets of His love, discovered after the commoner 
pleasures have ceased to satisfy. 

How many blessings we almost overlook in our disap- 
pointment that we did not get the red balloon, or because 
having gotten it we cannot mount upon it and fly away to 

191 



192 THE PARABLES OF SAFED THE SAGE 

the moon. Thank God for the blessings we care least to 
receive, but which stay with ns after the balloon has 
shrunk, and collapsed, and ignominiously tumbled. 

Life is a Christmas stocking, and it is long and deep. 
Take your blessings from the top, gratefully but not too 
eagerly or fast ; and when you have reached the very bot- 
tom, hang up the stocking of your hope again ; for God 
has other Christmas gifts for you in the world from which 
Christmas comes. 



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